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In many countries around the world young people decide to leave their parents' home once they finish school. They start living on their own or sharing a house with friends. Is this a positive or a negative development?

#countries #world #people #parents #home #school #house #friends #development
Young people have different
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
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, thoughts and desires related to the life they would like to live,
along with
this
,
parents
 in those countries usually are happy and
encourge
Correct your spelling
encourage
encouraged
 their sons to leave their parent's
home
Fix the agreement mistake
homes
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 because these
parents
 want to live a new life, travel without bad feelings, among others.
In
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On
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one
Correct article usage
the one
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 hand, is common in some countries that youths leave their
parents
' home once they finish school and
this
 could be a positive development because they are going to be
responsable
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responsible
 for their
owns
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own
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, it involves
to manage
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managing
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 correctly all the resources including time.
Besides
 everything
this
 would be a good opportunity to know what they
will
Wrong verb form
would
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 like to work to.
On the other
hand
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hand,
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 it is possible some negative impacts because those youths are teenagers, the emotional part can be a challenge for them,
also
is
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apply
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important to mention that they would have to work for pay their lives it won't let them study and try to
developt
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develop
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 themselves with a professional career.
Finally
, youths in those countries have the chance to choose what, when and how they would like to be independent and
also
parents
 should be there and try to understand how
teenager
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teenagers
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 feel
in
Change preposition
at
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 that moment.
Submitted by natalyrau13 on

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task achievement
Provide a clear introduction stating the topic and your position. Develop your argument in a structured way, using paragraphs for each main point. Make sure to have a distinct conclusion summarizing your view.
coherence cohesion
Work on the logical flow of ideas. Each paragraph should have a central idea and subsequent sentences should support it. Transitions between points and paragraphs could enhance clarity and cohesion.
task achievement
Use more specific examples and evidence to support your points. General statements should be supported with concrete illustrations to make your argument more compelling.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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