IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Many foods are shipped from far away. Some people think that eating local food is more environmentally and economically. Do you think the advantages outweigh its disadvantages?

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Food
Use synonyms
 is a vital source of human.
Although
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 many suggest that local
food
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 is the best meal for better health performance and longer life, others prefer to eat processed
foods
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. My point supports the local
foods
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 which are fresh and delicious for taste and mental health.
Therefore
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,
this
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 essay will provide more advantages than disadvantages by preferring import and export
foods
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. There are numerous merit points to having local
foods
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such
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 as green vegetables and fruits.
However
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,
this
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 type of
food
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 is naturally processed and contributes to natural activity, which is crucial for mental and physical health.
For example
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, most international students who are ethically in touch with their culture, tend to purchase fresh meals. Because of
this
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, they are more conscious regards to study and their careers.
Hence
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, it is crystal clear that local
foods
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 bring a lot of benefits to society and agricultural workers who work harder to get a survival life.
Furthermore
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, another benefit is that if people prefer to grow the plantation in their gardens,
then
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 it would be a greater step towards the global.
Additionally
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, bacteria issues can be minimised
due to
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 neglecting the processed
foods
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 namely sea
foods
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 which often create various diseases.
For instance
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, in recent years, there has been a pandemic situation happened because of contaminated
foods
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 shipped from overseas.
Hence
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, local
food
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 is more economically and environmentally for better and more prosperous living creations. In conclusion, it is mentioned how local
foods
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 can be more profitable than the import and export supply of
foods
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, which is not only vital for human beings but
also
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 influences other liveable creations.

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task achievement
The essay provides an opinion supporting the benefits of local food but does not fully address the comparison needed between advantages and disadvantages as the task prompt requires. To improve, ensure a balanced discussion that includes specific disadvantages of eating local food and weigh them against the advantages.
coherence and cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is lacking clarity, with some paragraphs not clearly distinguished in terms of their purpose. Strive to have a clear introduction, body paragraphs each dedicated to a single main point, and a conclusive ending to improve cohesion.
coherence and cohesion
Main points are mentioned, but the support for these points is not sufficiently developed. Providing specific examples and linking them clearly to the points being made would improve the essay. Additionally, ensure examples are directly relevant to the question prompt.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • carbon emissions
  • transportation
  • environmentally friendly
  • economically beneficial
  • local farmers
  • local economy
  • fresher
  • nutritious
  • food security
  • imports
  • preserving
  • traditional farming practices
  • biodiversity
  • limited variety
  • availability
  • cost
  • contributor
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