IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Your English-speaking friend has asked for your help with a college project he/she is doing about celebrating New Year in different countries. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter, say how important New Year is to people in your country describe how New Year is celebrated in your country explain what you like about New Year celebrations in your country You do NOT need to write any addresses. Begin your letter as follows: Dear .................,

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Dear Dhruvi, I hope you are doing well and enjoying your studies at the University of Toronto. I am writing
this
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 to share some information about the celebration of New
Year
Use synonyms
 in India.
Firsly
Correct your spelling
Firstly
,
this
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 festival brings lots of joy, positivity and strength to
live
Verb problem
make
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 the upcoming
year
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 even more good.
Besides
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this
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, it creates a sense
a
Correct your spelling
of
show examples
 achievement for individuals who have achieved their goals for the
year
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
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, most
indian
Change the capitalization
Indian
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 citizens prefer to celebrate the New
Year
Use synonyms
 with their
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
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, just like our old traditions. Usually, there will be some
home made
Correct your spelling
homemade
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 food, some fun interactive games,
as well as
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 a photo
gallary
Correct your spelling
gallery
 to watch and cherish all the good memories of the
year
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. But for me, it’s just much more
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then
Replace the word
than
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 New
Year
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. It’s more like an important event that has to happen in order for us to recharge for the following
year
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. I hope that all
this
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 information is enough for you to complete your university project. Take care. Warm regards, Ruchin Patel

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coherence cohesion
Consider using more linking words to enhance the flow of your ideas. For example, words like 'firstly', 'secondly', and 'finally' can help to clearly organize your thoughts.
task achievement
Try to elaborate a bit more on specific traditions or activities that take place during the New Year celebrations to provide a fuller picture.
task achievement
The letter has a warm and friendly tone, which is appropriate for a personal letter to a friend.
task achievement
You did a great job expressing your feelings about the significance of New Year celebrations in India.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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