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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Multinational companies are becoming increasingly common in developing countries. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

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In contemporary society new form of business - Multinational
companies
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 have consistently been a topic of interest among the masses. An increasing number of individuals are discovering that establishing multinational
companies
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 in developing
countries
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 is now the latest trend. Despite recognizing the merits and drawbacks behind the viewpoint, I am inclined to believe that economic growth is the prime benefit,
while
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 the excessive use of natural
resources
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 is the main drawback. Obviously, one evident benefit of the operation of transitional
companies
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 in less developed
countries
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 is the prosperity of the local
companies
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.
That is
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 to say, multinational
companies
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 provide an inflow of capital into developing
countries
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.
This
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 investment not only creates job opportunities for people in developing nations
,
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apply
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 but
also
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 helps to build better infrastructure,
such
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 as bridges, roads and transportation facilities, for them.
For example
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, the role of Amazon's branch in India in the year 2010 was undeniable because it uplifted the Indian economy so fast, meanwhile increasing GDP and
created so
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creating
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 many jobs for locals. The prime disadvantage is that these
companies
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 use the natural
resources
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 of developing nations recklessly, which affects the environment.
In other words
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, smaller, less developed governments often trade an increase in revenue for access to natural
resources
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.
This
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 extraction of raw materials,
such
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 as oil, diamond, rubber and fuel, can cause environmental externalities- polluted rivers and loss of natural landscapes.
For instance
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, many Chinese private enterprises have been heavily criticised for using the
resources
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 of
countries
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 like Thailand and for polluting the environment. In conclusion, following the thorough and nuanced examination of the issue's complex spectrum, it becomes clear that the detrimental attributes - extraction of raw materials, substantially suppress and overshadow the associated benefits - the growth of nations' economies.

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task achievement
Ensure that your introduction sets a clear framework for the discussion of advantages and disadvantages. The current introduction could be improved by providing a clearer thesis statement that directly addresses the question.
task achievement
Develop your main points with more detailed explanations and thorough examples. While the Amazon example is good, it could be further expanded to show a more in-depth understanding of the economic impacts on the Indian economy.
coherence cohesion
To achieve higher coherence and cohesion, your essay should flow seamlessly from one point to the next. Making your paragraph transitions smoother and more logical will improve the readability of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Use a variety of cohesive devices to link ideas, but ensure they are used accurately and not excessively. Your essay must show logical organization of information and ideas.
task achievement
Your conclusion should succinctly summarize the arguments presented in the body paragraphs without introducing new ideas. Consider weighing both sides more evenly before making a conclusive statement.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Globalization
  • Multinational corporations (MNCs)
  • Foreign direct investment (FDI)
  • Developing economies
  • Infrastructure development
  • Capacity building
  • Cultural diversity
  • Sustainability
  • Corporate social responsibility (CSR)
  • Technological transfer
  • Economic disparity
  • Market saturation
  • Brain drain
  • Indigenous industries
  • Expatriate management
  • Trade imbalance
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