Nowadays, a growing number ofpeople with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

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The Advancement of
medicine
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has been a really important element in humankind. Health problems always have been an issue since the dawn of time. It could temporarily cripple our
abbility
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ability
to carry out everyday tasks and it can even be fatal and kill us. Our knowledge of our own
body
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and biology has grown over the century
thus
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, making the
understandment
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understanding
of
medicine
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to help our
body
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fight those health problems better. There has always been a debate about which is better,
Alternative
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medicine
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or modern
medicine
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. In
this
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topic
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topic,
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we will discuss
about
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apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
both
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of them. Modern
medicine
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is the scientific understanding of how
medicine
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and our
body
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work
againts
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against
all
sort
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sorts
show examples
of malicious things that could hurt our
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body
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bodies
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, like viruses and bacteria. It is an achievement that humans should be proud of because
,
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apply
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modern
medicine
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like going to a real
doctor
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has saved countless
of
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apply
show examples
lives over the span of
it's
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its
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development. The cure is based on science and
provent
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proven
facts, and
thats
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that's
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what makes modern
medicine
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so reliable. We can have
over the counter
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over-the-counter
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drugs like Paracetamol to cure our headaches,
various
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and various
show examples
types of vaccines to prevent us from getting a specific type of dangerous disease,and it has been very useful for our society.
Although
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modern
medicine
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is scientifically more beneficial, it is generally
in
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on
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the more expensive side of
medicine
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and it can have several side effects on the
body
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.
Alternative
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Medicine
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on
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, on
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the other hand, is not so scientific. It is not based on biology ,
chemistry
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or chemistry
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and it lacks real data.
Instead
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,
alternative
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medicine
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relies on
decade old
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decade-old
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tradition that has been carried and passed for generations. It believes in the idea
of
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that
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using spices, herbs, and sometimes even odd techniques can help heal our
wound
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wounds
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or health issues and even steer away diseases.The
chinese
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Chinese
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are known for their famous
chinese
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Chinese
show examples
alternative
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medicine
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, it utilizes various
of
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apply
show examples
chinese
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Chinese
show examples
herbs and spices to create potions that are claimed to have healing effects, and weird techniques like 'kerokan' which is
essentialy
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essentially
using a coin to rub your back repeatedly until its red to heal the
body
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from catching
cold
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a cold
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.
Alternative
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medicine
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are
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is
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generally
more
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apply
show examples
cheaper and
it
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apply
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sounds more promising for certain people. In my opinion, the growing number of ill people
that
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who
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are trying
alternative
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medicine
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and treatments
instead
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of going to their usual
doctor
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is a negative development.
While
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,
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apply
show examples
alternative
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medicine
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might be cheaper and sound more beneficial,
i
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I
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think that
alternative
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medicine
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is more like a placebo effect.I understand that modern
medicine
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might not work for certain people, but it is still certainly better than believing in hocus pocus
medicine
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,
that
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which
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lacks scientific studies and can not even be proven the benefits of it.
Them
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Their
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believing
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belief
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in
alternative
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medicine
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might not be beneficial for their
body
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at all, it might even do their
body
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more harm than good by the delaying of getting real
medicine
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. In conclusion,
although
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both
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of their goal is to heal illnesses,
both
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modern
medicine
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and
alternative
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medicine
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have their own pros and cons. Going to the
doctor
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might be more reliable, fast and accurate, but it
also
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comes with a hefty price and side effects.
Alternative
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medicine
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sounds more convincing and it
relatively
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is relatively
show examples
cheaper than going to a real
doctor
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, but it lacks proven facts that it actually works and can do more harm than good. They
both
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have the same goal, though with different characteristics.
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task achievement
Your introduction provides a general overview of the topic, which is good, but you need to ensure that your thesis statement clearly presents your position regarding whether it is a positive or negative development. Although you present arguments for both sides, you must make your stance clearer to address the task effectively.
coherence cohesion
You should work on creating a clear and logical structure within your essay. It is important to organize your ideas into clear paragraphs, each with a central topic sentence followed by supporting sentences. Use transition words to connect ideas within and between paragraphs to enhance coherence.
coherence cohesion
While you present main points related to the topic, your ideas need more development with specific examples and evidence. Personal opinions are valued, but they should be supported by facts or reliable sources to increase the persuasiveness of your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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