Nowadays, a growing number ofpeople with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?
The Advancement of
medicine
has been a really important element in humankind. Health problems always have been an issue since the dawn of time. It could temporarily cripple our abbility
to carry out everyday tasks and it can even be fatal and kill us. Our knowledge of our own Correct your spelling
ability
body
and biology has grown over the century thus
, making the understandment
of Correct your spelling
understanding
medicine
to help our body
fight those health problems better. There has always been a debate about which is better, Alternative
medicine
or modern medicine
. In this
topic
we will discuss Add a comma
topic,
about
Remove the preposition
apply
the
Correct article usage
apply
both
of them.
Modern medicine
is the scientific understanding of how medicine
and our body
work againts
all Correct your spelling
against
sort
of malicious things that could hurt our Fix the agreement mistake
sorts
body
, like viruses and bacteria. It is an achievement that humans should be proud of becauseFix the agreement mistake
bodies
,
modern Remove the comma
apply
medicine
like going to a real doctor
has saved countless of
lives over the span of Change preposition
apply
it's
development. The cure is based on science and Replace the word
its
provent
facts, and Correct your spelling
proven
thats
what makes modern Correct your spelling
that's
medicine
so reliable. We can have over the counter
drugs like Paracetamol to cure our headaches, Add a hyphen
over-the-counter
various
types of vaccines to prevent us from getting a specific type of dangerous disease,and it has been very useful for our society.Correct word choice
and various
Although
modern medicine
is scientifically more beneficial, it is generally in
the more expensive side of Change preposition
on
medicine
and it can have several side effects on the body
.
Alternative
Medicine
on
the other hand, is not so scientific. It is not based on biology ,Add the comma(s)
, on
chemistry
and it lacks real data. Correct word choice
or chemistry
Instead
, alternative
medicine
relies on decade old
tradition that has been carried and passed for generations. It believes in the idea Add a hyphen
decade-old
of
using spices, herbs, and sometimes even odd techniques can help heal our Change preposition
that
wound
or health issues and even steer away diseases.The Fix the agreement mistake
wounds
chinese
are known for their famous Change the capitalization
Chinese
chinese
Change the capitalization
Chinese
alternative
medicine
, it utilizes various of
Change preposition
apply
chinese
herbs and spices to create potions that are claimed to have healing effects, and weird techniques like 'kerokan' which is Change the capitalization
Chinese
essentialy
using a coin to rub your back repeatedly until its red to heal the Correct your spelling
essentially
body
from catching cold
. Change the article
a cold
Alternative
medicine
are
generally Change the verb form
is
more
cheaper and Change the word
apply
it
sounds more promising for certain people.
In my opinion, the growing number of ill people Correct pronoun usage
apply
that
are trying Correct pronoun usage
who
alternative
medicine
and treatments instead
of going to their usual doctor
is a negative development. While
,
Remove the comma
apply
alternative
medicine
might be cheaper and sound more beneficial, i
think that Change the capitalization
I
alternative
medicine
is more like a placebo effect.I understand that modern medicine
might not work for certain people, but it is still certainly better than believing in hocus pocus medicine
, that
lacks scientific studies and can not even be proven the benefits of it. Correct pronoun usage
which
Them
Correct pronoun usage
Their
believing
in Replace the word
belief
alternative
medicine
might not be beneficial for their body
at all, it might even do their body
more harm than good by the delaying of getting real medicine
.
In conclusion, although
both
of their goal is to heal illnesses, both
modern medicine
and alternative
medicine
have their own pros and cons. Going to the doctor
might be more reliable, fast and accurate, but it also
comes with a hefty price and side effects. Alternative
medicine
sounds more convincing and it relatively
cheaper than going to a real Add a missing verb
is relatively
doctor
, but it lacks proven facts that it actually works and can do more harm than good. They both
have the same goal, though with different characteristics.Submitted by jehanboo on
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task achievement
Your introduction provides a general overview of the topic, which is good, but you need to ensure that your thesis statement clearly presents your position regarding whether it is a positive or negative development. Although you present arguments for both sides, you must make your stance clearer to address the task effectively.
coherence cohesion
You should work on creating a clear and logical structure within your essay. It is important to organize your ideas into clear paragraphs, each with a central topic sentence followed by supporting sentences. Use transition words to connect ideas within and between paragraphs to enhance coherence.
coherence cohesion
While you present main points related to the topic, your ideas need more development with specific examples and evidence. Personal opinions are valued, but they should be supported by facts or reliable sources to increase the persuasiveness of your essay.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.