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Writing Samples /
Band 7

You have just received a letter from an overseas university saying that your IELTS band score of 6 is too low for admission to any of its Master's courses (You need 6.5) Write a letter to the admissions officer. In your letter Introduce yourself Enquire about any alternative ways of gaining entrance

#university #ielts #band #score #admission #master #courses #admissions #officer #enquire #alternative #entrance
Dear Mrs. Green, I am writing with regard to your rejection of my application
to begin
 my postgraduate studies in Marketing Management at your university in August. You indicated that my IELTS band score of 6 was insufficient, below the required band of 6.5 for entrance permission. I recognize the importance of English competency for international students in their academic lives and fully accept your decision,
whereas
 a friend of mine currently studying at your institution has suggested that it may be possible for me to take a 2-month preparatory English course and the resit the IELTS prior to the beginning of the semester as
this
 is what she did.
Hence
 I was wondering whether you could send me
further
 information on
such
 courses or any other possible means of gaining entrance to the Master of Marketing Management programme. I have supplied my home and e-mail addresses
along with
 my mobile phone number for your convenience. Your assistance in
this
 matter is greatly appreciated. Yours faithfully, Antoine
Submitted by huaixiangdong on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that all paragraphs have a clear central idea and that it is sufficiently developed. Although the paragraphs in your letter adhere to single ideas, expanding on them can create a richer, more persuasive response.
coherence cohesion
It is essential to structure your letter in a logical manner, allowing for smooth transitions that guide the reader from one thought to the next. Consider using phrases that underline the sequence of your correspondence or the connections between your points.
task achievement
Your completion of the task could be improved by offering more details about your current proficiency in English, past experiences, or specific reasons why a preparatory course or an alternative would enhance your chances.
task achievement
Maintain a suitable formal tone throughout the letter, as you have done generally. However, take care with the level of informality that might be perceived in expressions like 'I fully accept your decision,' which could be modified for a more formal appeal.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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