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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people believe that to give opportunuties to the new generation, companies should encourage high level employees who are older than 55 to retire. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #opportunuties #generation #companies #level #employees
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Undoubtedly, the young generation should take more responsibility in the workplace with more chances,
while
 some
people
 contend that the older and seniors should enjoy their retirements in advance to make room for the youngsters, especially those who are over 55. From my perspective, I agree that younger and older
people
 should be treated differently at work. The young generation can bring more innovation which can be conducive to the companies' transformation, especially in
this
 contemporary era. Since they have strong learning abilities compared to the old, which means they will be more inclusive of new technologies.
For example
, the young
plays
Correct subject-verb agreement
play
show examples
 a significant role as many organizations are chasing the opportunities for digital transformation, making more value and profits.
Additionally
,
this
 can be beneficial for groups to attract talents
due to
 the retirements of high-position staff,
that is
 mainly because there will be more management positions,
hence
, the talents and youngsters' creativities can be sparked and be hopeful for diverse career perspectives. The Internet industry is an example. Younger management will bring high-efficiency communication methods
instead
 of traditional reports and meeting customs, with more attractive welfare systems for all employees.
In contrast
, many
people
 may resign because of
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 lack of enthusiasm. It is true that having more seniors can do good to inherit experience, and most of them are more loyal.
However
,
by
Change preposition
through
show examples
 various career training and rounded systems,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
young workers can improve and gain experience as well. In conclusion, I agree that employers should provide more space for young
people
as well as
 encourage seniors to retire at a certain age
Submitted by gaott0617 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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