The chart below shows the percentage of households owning four types of electronic devices between 1995 and 2015.

This

Linking Words

chart illustrates the ratio of

family

Fix the agreement mistake

families

show examples

having four kinds of electronics from 1995 to 2015.

Overall

Linking Words

, the data reveals most electronics were over 80% in 2015, except for MP3

Player

Fix the agreement mistake

players

show examples

. Both Mobile

phone

Fix the agreement mistake

phones

show examples

and

Tablet

Fix the agreement mistake

tablets

show examples

had

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

dramatically increased

Change preposition

show examples

a certain time point. Mobile

phone

Fix the agreement mistake

phones

show examples

and

Computer

Fix the agreement mistake

computers

show examples

were lower than 10% in the first year,

however

Linking Words

, the former became 80% after two decades, and the latter reached the same ratio after 2010.

Similarly

Linking Words

, Tablet had no market share before 2000, it had the same percentage as the previous two in 2015.

In contrast

Linking Words

, MP3 player was about 15% in 1995, the number ended up at 40% which was almost half of

theratio

Correct your spelling

the ratio

of Mobile and Computer. Mobile surged dramatically between 1995 and 2000, it had a gap

Change preposition

of more

show examples

than 60% from 9 to 70%,

this

Linking Words

made it the first electronic which had 70% at that moment.

Similarly

Linking Words

Tablet

Fix the agreement mistake

Tablets

show examples

had a similar situation in the period

Change preposition

between

show examples

2005 and 2010, it started at below 20% and jumped to nearly 65%,

Correct pronoun usage

which

show examples

was the third highest at the moment.

chaoweikevin

Dec 13, 2023

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

▼

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "similarly".

▼

Vocabulary: The word "ratio" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "dramatically" was used 2 times.

▼

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5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

178 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

households
electronic devices
ownership percentage
technological advancements
consumer behavior
market saturation
obsolescence
innovation
trends
emerging technologies
comparison
speculate
significance

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The chart below shows the percentage of households owning four types of electronic devices between 1995 and 2015.

Friendships that take place online are not as meaningful as those where people meet each other face to face. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people argue that all experimentation on animals is bad and should be outlawed. However, others believe that important scientific discoveries can be made from animal experiments. Can experimentation on animals be justified? Are there any alternatives?

Increasing numbers of students are choosing to study abroad. To what extent does this trend benefit the students themselves and the countries involved? What are the drawbacks?

Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

Human activity has had a negative impact on plants and animals around the world. Some people think that this cannot be changed, while others believe actions can be taken to bring about a change. Discuss both sides of the argument and give your opinion.