Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

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These days, many individuals want to help their children to be good members of society. Some believe parents should teach them,

while

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others feel that school is better. In

this

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essay, both perspectives will be discussed with examples.

To begin

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with, some people think that parents play an important role in bringing up their children.

This

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is because they have significant affection for their teenagers, and these young individuals tend to listen to their

family

Fix the agreement mistake

families

show examples

more than others.

As a result

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, they learn most of the things from their family,

such

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as way of speaking and behaving with other humans.

For instance

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, in 2004, a student who always got low scores was saying that his father had encouraged him not to study.

On the other hand

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, other humans think that teenagers mostly learn at school. They believe that at that age, they usually do not obey their family, which means they tend to be persuaded by what their teachers say.

This

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is because school is a social place with lots of other students, which encourages them to leave their bad behaviour in order not to be punished in front of others.

As a consequence

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, they all become sociable people with pleasant attitudes,

such

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as a sense of respect. In conclusion, the majority of humans want their teens to have a nice personality,

however

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, there are some arguments about the method of doing

this

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. I tend to agree with the first opinion because I believe parents can affect them more than institutes.

Ah.mahdavi1365Tue Jan 30 2024

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coherence cohesion

To improve coherence and cohesion, ensure that your essay has a clear and logical structure. This can be achieved by using topic sentences at the beginning of paragraphs, followed by supporting sentences and a concluding sentence. Using cohesive devices such as conjunctions, pronouns, and lexical phrases can also help connect ideas more effectively.

task achievement

For task achievement, it's important to address all parts of the prompt. Make sure your essay includes a clear opinion and discusses both views comprehensively. Use relevant, detailed examples that are directly linked to the arguments being made to fully support your points and ensure that the response is complete.

introduction conclusion

Your introduction and conclusion are present, which is good, but they could be more effective. Ensure that the introduction clearly sets the stage for your essay and outlines the main points, while the conclusion should summarize the discussion and restate your opinion more forcefully.

specific examples

Regarding specific examples, try to include more detailed and relevant illustrations to back up your arguments. Instead of general or hypothetical examples, provide concrete cases or real-life instances that demonstrate how parents or schools contribute to the social development of children.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

9
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

251 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

good members of society
teach
parents
schools
responsibility
values
respect
empathy
responsibility
formal education
citizenship
ethics
social responsibility
lead by example
role models
conducive environment
extracurricular activities
community involvement
collaborate
holistic approach

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Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

Your opinion

In their advertising, buisness usually emphasize that their products are new in some ways. Why is this? Do you think its positive or negative development.

Some people think that children should only read academic books. others believe that reading books for entertainment is equally important. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In most countries, with the widespread of the use of Internet, people have more freedom to choose to work at home instead of travelling to work. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Students should pay the full cost for their own study, because university education benefits individual rather than society. To what extent do you agree or disagree.