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Band 5.5

Everyone need to study until the age of 18? Discuss and give your opinion

#study #age
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In the new era, most humans believe that education plays an important role in their lives and
people
 should start acquiring
knowledge
 from a young
age
 and continue it at least until the
age
 of 18 to acquire the necessary skills for life. In
this
 essay, I am going to express my opinion about why all
people
 should study until the
age
 of 18. in the beginning, I will discuss the subject that the speed of progress in the recent century is very high. , so, all the
people
 in every country should through schools acquire
knowledge
 between the ages of 7 and 18 to
finally
 with enough
knowledge
 to prepare for entering university or the labour market. Having an average level of
knowledge
 for all
people
 the country brings progress to economics, science and social welfare.
Although
 studying has never been compulsory for humans, by watching history we understand that undeveloped countries
for instance
 Venezuela have always been left behind
due to
 illiterate
people
, and not having a strong economy and sufficient welfare and medical facilities creates hassle for them. In conclusion, humans live better and are used to advances in modern technology, they should study at least until the
age
 of 18 years old of course my opinion in the new
age
 generation studying until the
age
 of 18 and having an average
knowledge
 should be established by policymakers as a law in countries.
Submitted by omranz2013 on

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structure
Ensure that your essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. Your essay partially meets this structure but lacks clear distinction between paragraphs.
development
Develop your ideas more fully with explanations or specific examples. This essay introduces concepts but does not explore them in much depth.
paragraphing
Your main points should each be contained in their own paragraph for clarity and coherence.
register
Maintain a formal register throughout the essay and avoid contractions and informal expressions.
grammar
Check for grammatical errors and sentence structures that impede understanding. Sentences should be well-constructed and the use of punctuation should aid in the clarity of your points.
vocabulary
To achieve a higher band score, you should aim for a more extensive range of vocabulary and complex sentence structures.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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