Write about the following topic : Some people think that it’s a good to socialise with work colleagues during evenings and weekends. Other people think it’s important to keep working life completely separate from social life. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.
While
some people are comfortable to socialize
with their Verb problem
socialising
colleagues
from work
outside office hours
, some others believe that it is not necessary and choose to keep their professional and social lives separated. Although
it is based on one's preference, I personally believe that both views come with their own advantages which will be discussed in this
essay.
Keeping a good interpersonal relationship with work
colleagues
could bring
a good impact Verb problem
have
for
us at some points. We would easily get connected with others who Change preposition
on
work
in the same place and deal with the same goals and problems as us, resulting in giving us comfort to talk
to each other. We might Change preposition
in talking
also
enjoy the feeling of a brief relaxation through sharing session
with our Fix the agreement mistake
sessions
colleagues
while
hanging out outside office hours
. Therefore
, having a cup of coffee together on the weekend or grabbing a quick dinner after work
with them may also
help us to relieve stress from work
.
On the other hand
, it is not wholefuly
a bad decision to keep our working and personal lives Correct your spelling
wholly
wholely
separated
. In my opinion, by adapting to Change the form of the verb
separate
this
view, we will be freed from any work
-related stuff that might be stressing us out for at least several hours
per day. Cutting connection with our colleagues
after working hours
are finished will also
allow us to completely enjoy some times being ourselves as an individual, not as a worker.
In conclusion, it is completely free for every individual to choose which principle they would like to adapt
. These two lifestyles are not binary options. Correct your spelling
adopt
Thus
, it is just fine for everyone to apply both views at the same time to their lives.Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on
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Introduction & Conclusion
While the essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, it would benefit from a stronger thesis statement that directly addresses the prompt and gives an indication of the writer's opinion early in the essay.
Task Response
Although the essay reflects an attempt to discuss both views, the treatment of the second view is somewhat superficial, lacking in depth and specific examples which would enhance the overall persuasiveness of the argument.
Coherence & Cohesion
To increase coherence and cohesion, ensure that transitions between sentences and paragraphs are fluid and contribute to the overall progression of the argument. Include more cohesive devices to effectively link ideas and arguments together.
Supporting Examples
Arguments would be further strengthened by the inclusion of specific, relevant examples, particularly in the paragraph discussing the benefits of separating work and social life. Real-world examples or hypothetical situations could make the point more salient.
Task Response & Opinion
It is important that the writer's opinion is presented in a well-rounded manner and is supported by a balanced argument with clear justifications throughout the essay, especially in the conclusion, to firmly establish the writer's stance on the topic.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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