Some people suggest that children do not understand the world of work and schools should make all teenagers spend a short time working as well as studying academic subjects. To what extent do you agree?
It is argued that children don't have idea how
world
of Add an article
the world
work
is constructed and schools
should make sure that teenagers will
dedicate Verb problem
apply
small
amount of Add an article
a small
time
as well as
studying academic subjects. This
essay disagrees that the work
time
of teens should be controlled. It will first discuss that schools
should have control only over their academic side and then
discuss the importance of working for students
.
School is the place where students
go to get basic knowledge of science and social subjects, so they should focus only on their studies and student's free time
should not be in
their concern.Because Change preposition
apply
students
are the ones, who are responsible for their time
managament
, prioritizing what is important for them or not.Correct your spelling
management
Schools
should focus on providing valuable knowledge for pupils and finding the proper ways to deliver information.
Also
, working in certain places give
Correct subject-verb agreement
gives
students
experience and knowledge,which will be useful in the future. In the beginning, they might have some problems with getting used to the work
and understanding of rules and
.But they will have these misconceptions about Correct word choice
apply
work
in later life too and it's normal. For example
, 46% of young people working in a
marketing field started their path when they were between 14-16 and Correct article usage
the
this
start was crucial
moment in their Add an article
a crucial
live
, even though they had met some difficulties.
In conclusion,children might meet some difficulties in their Replace the word
lives
work
, but schools
attempting
regulate their Add the particle
attempting to
time
outside of studies comparing occupations with academic subject
will not give any results.Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
Furthermore
,only students
themselves are responsible for their time
and future career
.Fix the agreement mistake
careers
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logical structure
Work on the logical structure of your essay. Your paragraphs should be clearly linked, presenting a consistent argument throughout, with clear topic sentences that clearly relate to the main thesis of the essay.
introduction conclusion present
Make sure that your introduction and conclusion are clearly defined. Your introduction should clearly state your position on the argument, and your conclusion should reflect upon the points made in your essay, offering a clear summary or restatement of your position.
supported main points
Ensure that the main points you raise in support of your argument are well-supported with specific examples and evidence. Your points should be thoroughly developed and contribute clearly to your overall argument.
complete response
In addressing the task, make sure to provide a complete response to all parts of the question. Your essay should comprehensively cover the benefits of teenagers working, grounded in relevant examples and a clear argument.
clear comprehensive ideas
Work on presenting clear and comprehensive ideas. Each paragraph should be well-developed with clear reasoning and support for your assertions. Avoid vague claims that are not backed up with specific, detailed information.
relevant specific examples
Incorporate specific, real-world examples to bolster your argument. These examples should directly relate to the topic and clearly support your position, providing the reader with tangible evidence of your claims.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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