Some people prefer to go to gym and clubs for health care other say that walking and jumping stairs are more affective. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#people #gym #clubs #health #care #stairs #affective

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People

Use synonyms

have different views about the best approach to stay healthy.

While

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there are some benefits to doing outdoor activities, I would argue that exercising in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

professional gyms and

clubs

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is more conducive to personal health. On the one hand, I accept that doing sports in the open space

have

Change the verb form

has

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a wide range of advantages.

Firstly

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, the biggest merit of doing outdoor exercises is relatively lower expenditure compared with training with facilities in

clubs

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This

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is because

people

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can choose various simple ways like walking in parks and riding a bike in bike lanes, which do not require membership fees.

Secondly

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people

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can enjoy the flexibility of training time since they are not restricted by the fixed opening time.

In other words

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people

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who end their work very late

enable exercising

Wrong verb form

are able to exercise

show examples

even if the

clubs

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already

Add a missing verb

are already

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closed at that time.

Therefore

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people

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can enjoy the benefits of exercising outdoors.

However

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, I tend to approve that training in

clubs

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is more beneficial to

people

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Firstly

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, exercising in the gyms makes it possible for

people

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to access to various

and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

professional

equipments

Change the wording

equipment

types of equipment

pieces of equipment

show examples

For example

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, those who want to do specific fitness like weightlifting can find corresponding

facility

Fix the agreement mistake

facilities

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to train their leg muscles.

Secondly

Linking Words

clubs

Use synonyms

are always

equiped

Correct your spelling

equipped

with coaches with high

qualification

Fix the agreement mistake

qualifications

show examples

, which can guide

people

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to keep correct poses

while

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exercising.

Equiping

Correct your spelling

Equipping

with

two

Correct article usage

the two

show examples

sides mentioned above, trainers can achieve a significant improvement within a short term

while

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avoiding being injured compared with outdoor exercises.

Moreover

Linking Words

clubs

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also

Linking Words

provide a better platform for trainers to make friends with memberships who have

same

Correct article usage

the same

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interests

Change preposition

show examples

exercise. In

Correct article usage

apply

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conclusion,

while

Linking Words

there are advantages for

people

Use synonyms

exercising outdoors, I believe

clubs

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are better spots for fitness and health care.

Submitted by 609553855 on Wed Dec 13 2023

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coherence cohesion

Ensure a clear and logical structure throughout your essay, with distinct paragraphs that guide the reader clearly from introduction to conclusion.

coherence cohesion

Develop your ideas further with more detailed explanations or specific examples, particularly when discussing the benefits of exercising outdoors versus in gyms.

task achievement

It is important to cover all parts of the task sufficiently. You managed to discuss both views and give your opinion, which is good. However, ensure that you fully develop each point made, rather than simply listing advantages.

task achievement

Make sure your ideas are clear and comprehensive. The essay would benefit from clearer expression of ideas using a wider range of vocabulary. Consider focusing on fewer points but explaining these in greater detail.

task achievement

Use relevant and specific examples to support your arguments. The essay could be improved by providing more specific and detailed examples, such as statistics, expert opinions, or personal anecdotes, to support your arguments about the efficacy of gym training over outdoor exercises.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

287 words

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Some people prefer to go to gym and clubs for health care other say that walking and jumping stairs are more affective. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Shopping habits depend more on your age group than anything else. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

With the increasing demand for energy sources of oil and gas, people should look for sources of oil and gas in remote and untouched natural places. Do the advantages outweigh disadvantages of damaging such areas？

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money.othes argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that all university students should study whatever they like. Others believe that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.