Some people prefer to go to gym and clubs for health care other say that walking and jumping stairs are more affective. Discuss both views and give your opinion
People
have different views about the best approach to stay healthy. While
there are some benefits to doing outdoor activities, I would argue that exercising in the
professional gyms and Correct article usage
apply
clubs
is more conducive to personal health.
On the one hand, I accept that doing sports in the open space have
a wide range of advantages. Change the verb form
has
Firstly
, the biggest merit of doing outdoor exercises is relatively lower expenditure compared with training with facilities in clubs
. This
is because people
can choose various simple ways like walking in parks and riding a bike in bike lanes, which do not require membership fees. Secondly
, people
can enjoy the flexibility of training time since they are not restricted by the fixed opening time. In other words
, people
who end their work very late enable exercising
even if the Wrong verb form
are able to exercise
clubs
already
closed at that time. Add a missing verb
are already
Therefore
, people
can enjoy the benefits of exercising outdoors.
However
, I tend to approve that training in clubs
is more beneficial to people
. Firstly
, exercising in the gyms makes it possible for people
to access to various and
professional Correct word choice
apply
equipments
. Change the wording
equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
For example
, those who want to do specific fitness like weightlifting can find corresponding facility
to train their leg muscles. Fix the agreement mistake
facilities
Secondly
, clubs
are always equiped
with coaches with high Correct your spelling
equipped
qualification
, which can guide Fix the agreement mistake
qualifications
people
to keep correct poses while
exercising. Equiping
with Correct your spelling
Equipping
two
sides mentioned above, trainers can achieve a significant improvement within a short term Correct article usage
the two
while
avoiding being injured compared with outdoor exercises. Moreover
, clubs
also
provide a better platform for trainers to make friends with memberships who have same
interests Correct article usage
the same
on
exercise.
In Change preposition
in
a
conclusion, Correct article usage
apply
while
there are advantages for people
exercising outdoors, I believe clubs
are better spots for fitness and health care.Submitted by 609553855 on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure a clear and logical structure throughout your essay, with distinct paragraphs that guide the reader clearly from introduction to conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Develop your ideas further with more detailed explanations or specific examples, particularly when discussing the benefits of exercising outdoors versus in gyms.
task achievement
It is important to cover all parts of the task sufficiently. You managed to discuss both views and give your opinion, which is good. However, ensure that you fully develop each point made, rather than simply listing advantages.
task achievement
Make sure your ideas are clear and comprehensive. The essay would benefit from clearer expression of ideas using a wider range of vocabulary. Consider focusing on fewer points but explaining these in greater detail.
task achievement
Use relevant and specific examples to support your arguments. The essay could be improved by providing more specific and detailed examples, such as statistics, expert opinions, or personal anecdotes, to support your arguments about the efficacy of gym training over outdoor exercises.