Sending people to prison is not effective, and other methods such as community work should be supported instead. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?

#people #prison #methods #community #work

In the modern era, sending

criminals

prison

is not beneficial. Others think other strategies

such

as public work should be encouraged

instead

of sending individuals to

prison

. I completely disagree with

this

idea and in

this

essay, I will support my opinion with reasons and examples.

Firstly

, life in jail is far too comfortable for prisoners.

For example

, many inmates have access to luxuries

such

as televisions, computers sports facilities, and so on. What I mean by

this

, spending time behind bars is like being in holiday camp. If

prison

is going to act as a deterrent

then

I am serious it needs to be considerably tougher.

In other words

why

Rephrase

apply

show examples

I disagree with

prison

as a punishment is that a large number of prisoners are not a danger to society take shoplifters as an example. They are often locked up in the same cells as murderers, rapists, and violent

criminals

. I strongly believe

that is

a serious problem. What is more, pretty

criminals

may even learn how to commit more serious crimes when they are inside.

On the other hand

, there is a huge difference between sending

criminals

and doing community work.

For example

, if the government always locks up inmates every day, they can learn everything like killing someone or kidnap something from individuals. To be extended,the inmates should work in streets or restaurants,

as a result

, they start to earn money or can be

addiction

Replace the word

addicted

show examples

. In conclusion,

although

it is a common belief that

prison

is the best way to punish

criminals

, I believe it is too soft and

that is

not necessary in the major cases. I think

prison

should be the

last

option when all else has failed. In my view, the government is more responsible for providing jobs,

as well as

controlling them more

as a result

we will reduce

criminals

Submitted by akbarturdiyev06 on Wed Dec 13 2023

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Coherence and Cohesion

Your essay should have a clearer logical structure. Make sure that each body paragraph discusses a single main point, which directly supports your opinion on the topic. Use transition words to improve the flow of the ideas.

Coherence and Cohesion

Your introduction and conclusion are present, but they could be strengthened. The introduction needs a clearer thesis statement, and the conclusion should summarise your main points without introducing new ideas or examples.

Coherence and Cohesion

The essay occasionally presents ideas not fully developed or elaborated on. Ensure the main points of your argument are fully supported with specific details and examples. Avoid vague statements or generalisations.

Task Achievement

Although the response to the given task is complete, it lacks clarity in presenting comprehensive ideas. Make sure your argument is clear and direct, aligning your examples precisely with the point you are trying to convey.

Task Achievement

The essay attempts to provide examples, but they are not always relevant or adequately developed. Incorporate more specific examples that are directly related to the argument you make regarding the effectiveness of prison versus community work.

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13Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

308 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Sending people to prison is not effective, and other methods such as community work should be supported instead. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

in some cities public parks and open spaces are being changed into gardens where local residents can grow their own fruit and vegetables. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

More and more families are choosing fast food over home-cooked meals. What are the reasons for this and how can they be addressed?

Nowadays many people complain that they have difficulties getting enough sleep. What problems can lack of sleep cause? What can be done about lack of sleeo?

In recent years, many governments have brought in laws to ban smoking in public places, such as bars, restaurants and offices. To what extend do you agree or disagree with banning smoking in public places?