Sending people to prison is not effective, and other methods such as community work should be supported instead. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?
In the modern era, sending
criminals
to Use synonyms
prison
is not beneficial. Others think other strategies Use synonyms
such
as public work should be encouraged Linking Words
instead
of sending individuals to Linking Words
prison
. I completely disagree with Use synonyms
this
idea and in Linking Words
this
essay, I will support my opinion with reasons and examples.
Linking Words
Firstly
, life in jail is far too comfortable for prisoners. Linking Words
For example
, many inmates have access to luxuries Linking Words
such
as televisions, computers sports facilities, and so on. What I mean by Linking Words
this
, spending time behind bars is like being in holiday camp. If Linking Words
prison
is going to act as a deterrent Use synonyms
then
I am serious it needs to be considerably tougher.
Linking Words
In other words
, Linking Words
why
I disagree with Rephrase
apply
prison
as a punishment is that a large number of prisoners are not a danger to society take shoplifters as an example. They are often locked up in the same cells as murderers, rapists, and violent Use synonyms
criminals
. I strongly believe Use synonyms
that is
a serious problem. What is more, pretty Linking Words
criminals
may even learn how to commit more serious crimes when they are inside.
Use synonyms
On the other hand
, there is a huge difference between sending Linking Words
criminals
and doing community work. Use synonyms
For example
, if the government always locks up inmates every day, they can learn everything like killing someone or kidnap something from individuals. To be extended,the inmates should work in streets or restaurants, Linking Words
as a result
, they start to earn money or can be Linking Words
addiction
.
In conclusion, Replace the word
addicted
although
it is a common belief that Linking Words
prison
is the best way to punish Use synonyms
criminals
, I believe it is too soft and Use synonyms
that is
not necessary in the major cases. I think Linking Words
prison
should be the Use synonyms
last
option when all else has failed. In my view, the government is more responsible for providing jobs, Linking Words
as well as
controlling them more Linking Words
as a result
we will reduce Linking Words
criminals
.Use synonyms
Submitted by akbarturdiyev06 on
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Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay should have a clearer logical structure. Make sure that each body paragraph discusses a single main point, which directly supports your opinion on the topic. Use transition words to improve the flow of the ideas.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are present, but they could be strengthened. The introduction needs a clearer thesis statement, and the conclusion should summarise your main points without introducing new ideas or examples.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay occasionally presents ideas not fully developed or elaborated on. Ensure the main points of your argument are fully supported with specific details and examples. Avoid vague statements or generalisations.
Task Achievement
Although the response to the given task is complete, it lacks clarity in presenting comprehensive ideas. Make sure your argument is clear and direct, aligning your examples precisely with the point you are trying to convey.
Task Achievement
The essay attempts to provide examples, but they are not always relevant or adequately developed. Incorporate more specific examples that are directly related to the argument you make regarding the effectiveness of prison versus community work.