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Band 4

In future, robots may do more of the work that is done by humans today. would the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

#future #robots #work #humans #outweigh
The world mainly depends on human
resource
Fix the agreement mistake
resources
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 even though, robots
predicted
Add a missing verb
are predicted
show examples
 to be the
dominate
Replace the word
dominant
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do ever
Verb problem
apply
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asking, ignoring
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
emotional
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emotions
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 or creativity. In
this
assay
Add a comma
assay,
show examples
 I will explain the positivity
also
 side
effect
consideration
Fix the agreement mistake
considerations
show examples
. First of all, on the one hand; there are positive
effect
Fix the agreement mistake
effects
show examples
 for using
robot
Fix the agreement mistake
robots
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 as a worker, yet
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 make
life
 easier and
convenient
Correct quantifier usage
more convenient
show examples
, when
robot
programming
Wrong verb form
program
show examples
 it to deal with everything,
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 will be organised which achieve the target in
specific
Correct article usage
a specific
show examples
 time
lead
Wrong verb form
leading
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 to increased
productive
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productivity
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.
However
, the working time of
employee
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employees
show examples
 will
decreased
Change the verb form
be decreased
decrease
show examples
 in order to
concentrated
Change the verb
concentrate
show examples
 on creative and art skills, regarding
to
Remove the preposition
apply
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that the
stresses
Fix the agreement mistake
stress
show examples
 will
decreased
Change the verb form
decrease
be decreased
show examples
,because
mostly
Correct your spelling
most
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 employee work at least 8 hours at
same
Add an article
the same
show examples
 rhythm and some with
part time
Add a hyphen
part-time
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 to increased salary,so the
robot
 is dull it cannot creative, to be clear,
for example
, the architecture needs deep thought and clear mind to produce the beauty building.
On the other hand
,
negative
Correct article usage
the negative
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effect
, despite the
life
 depends on people
thought
Wrong verb form
thinks
show examples
 the repetition
work
Change preposition
of work
show examples
 will
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
worldwide with lack of beauty or feeling, because of programming the same task,
in addition
 it needs effort and
financial
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finances
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 which influence on economy.
Additionally
, when we
focusing
Wrong verb form
focus
show examples
 on
robot
Fix the agreement mistake
robots
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 that mean the job offers will
decreased
Change the verb form
decrease
be decreased
show examples
, so
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
most people seeking
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
 and
become
Wrong verb form
becoming
show examples
 jobless as
effect
Correct article usage
an effect
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 on their
life
 planning.
To conclude
, the technological future
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 nearby yet,
speed
Correct article usage
the speed
show examples
 of
developed
Replace the word
development
show examples
 and the ability to
understanding
Wrong verb form
understand
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 and adapt will progress
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
life
 by
expanded
Wrong verb form
expanding
show examples
mind
Correct article usage
the mind
show examples
 with knowledge and experience, so
furthermore
 the advantages are
impact
Add an article
the impact
show examples
 of simplicity of
life
 above the disadvantages across the world.
Submitted by M on

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Structural Organization
Ensure that you have a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. The introduction should set up the topic clearly, the body should contain distinct paragraphs discussing different aspects related to the topic, and the conclusion should summarise the essay's arguments without introducing new information.
Paragraph Development
Develop your paragraphs with clear topic sentences. Each paragraph should start with a topic sentence that tells the reader what the paragraph will be about.
Cohesive Devices
It is essential to use a range of cohesive devices appropriately to ensure your writing flows. Examples include conjunctions, pronouns, and transition words. However, avoid overusing them and ensure they are relevant.
Supporting Details
Fully extend and support your main points with specific details or examples. This will strengthen your argument and make your essay more persuasive.
Task Response
Address all parts of the task. Make sure to include your position and discuss both the advantages and disadvantages fully if the question requires it. Remain focused and relevant throughout.
Expression Clarity
Your ideas could be expressed more clearly and comprehensively. Work on articulating your points more clearly and structuring your essay to facilitate better understanding.
Examples
Include specific and relevant examples to illustrate your points. This helps to substantiate your arguments and make your essay more convincing.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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