Some say that advertisements of snacks and toys have a great impact on children and their parents. So, the advertisement to children should be banned. Do you agree or disagree?

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As it is enunciated by a proportion, there are egregious repercussions on kids and their parents by

advertisements

Use synonyms

of snacks and toys,

hence

Linking Words

commercials ought to be restricted. Albeit, I harbour the belief that

this

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apprehension is totally warranted, it should beg for some sort of exemplifications and justifications.

Firstly

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, contemporary research manifests that the consumption of snacks may dreadfully lead to health complications

such

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as obesity, cancer, and diabetes. As an illustration, recent statistics indicate that there is a drastic increment in underage cancer and diabetes patients in hospitals. The majority of doctors assert that

children

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’s health is deteriorating sharply.

Moreover

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, these foods

also

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pose a huge threat to brain development in

children

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, in which

advertisements

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for snacks ought to be banned.

Secondly

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, toy-making companies solely work for profits,

therefore

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, these organizations may produce notorious

advertisements

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that

children

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are not able to understand whether they are necessary or not, since their brain is not fully formed.

Furthermore

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, profit-making toy organizations have found a way to brainwash

children

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with inferior commercials and may act as a catalyst for

children

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to become uncontrollable for parents. As an illustration, some unnecessary products may become idealized in peer groups

due to

Linking Words

advertisements

Use synonyms

hence

Linking Words

parents have to buy them.

Hence

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, it is apparent that dreadful commercials should be banned.

To sum up

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advertisements

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for foods and toys should be restricted, since food may egregiously pose a huge threat to kid’s health.

Moreover

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, kids may be uncontrollable and brainwashed by idealized

advertisements

Use synonyms

due to

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partially formed brains.

Trevor NugaraWed Dec 13 2023

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that your essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. The introduction should outline your position clearly, and the conclusion should effectively summarize your arguments.

coherence cohesion

Work on creating a logical flow of ideas and use a range of linking words to connect sentences and paragraphs.

task achievement

Fully address all parts of the task, ensuring that your position is clear throughout the essay. Avoid making generalized or vague statements.

task achievement

Provide more detailed examples and evidence to support your points, ensuring they are specific and relevant to the topic.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

252 words

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Some say that advertisements of snacks and toys have a great impact on children and their parents. So, the advertisement to children should be banned. Do you agree or disagree?

Lack of fresh water is becoming a global issue of increasing importance. what problems does this shortage case? what measures could be taken to overcome these problems?

People who decide on a career path early in their lives and keep to it are more likely to have a satisfying working life than those who change jobs frequently.To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience.

Most countries aim to improve their standard of living through economis development,but many important social values can be lost as a result . Do the advantages of economic development outweigh the disadvantages ?

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.