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Band 6.5

Despite a large number of gyms, a sedentary lifestyle is gaining popularity in the contemporary world. What are the problems associated with this? What solutions can you sugges ?

#gyms #lifestyle #popularity #world #sugges
Currently,
although
 the number of sporting institutions is on the surge,the sedentary
lifestyle
 is rising remarkedly in the modern world.
As a result
,some issues are caused by
this
 kind of
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
.
This
 essay will delve into the details of these problems
in addition
 to some purpose solutions in order to overcome these difficulties that arose because of the given topic.
To begin
 with,nowadays, plenty of people commit to their desks and their screens in the working environment.
On the other hand
, a lot of gyms were set up,but the public who went to it was a handful.
Therefore
,some chronic diseases extent caused by
this
 kind of behavior like high blood pressure
as well as
 diabetes. what is more,
this
 routine life contributes people to struggling with obesity. In
this
, the individuals who suffer from obesity are on an upward trend.
Additionally
, stress and anxiety are partially
due to
 a sedentary
lifestyle
. So as not to suffer from the aforementioned problems,what the authorities have to do is construct a lot of sporting places in a procedure to encourage the public to work out any sort of exercise flexible or vigorous.
Furthermore
, some medical campaigning will bring about positive impacts. To incorporate
this
, the mayor of London urged the N.H.S experts to provide the public with suitable knowledge about the drawbacks of an idle
lifestyle
.
Hence
, these arguments collectively,
also
 encourage the authorities to cut off taxes on gyms.
Consequently
, in Ealing Spot four sporting institutions will be established in the near future in a procedure to attract the public.Regarding the role of people,what the individuals have to do is make a strict balance between their commitments and their health. In a nutshell,after a thorough analysis of the mentioned subject, it is predicted that some chronic diseases are particularly
due to
 a tedious
lifestyle
.
Accordingly
, some tangible approaches are in the system to hinder
this
 dilemma.
Submitted by nadeenelkenawy4425 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a clear and logical structure, which includes well-organized paragraphs, clear topic sentences, and a progression of ideas. Use linking devices appropriately to help readers follow your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction should clearly address the question and outline your position or main points. The conclusion should summarize your arguments without introducing new information.
coherence cohesion
Support each main point with relevant examples and explanations. Avoid general statements that are not linked to specific examples or evidence.
task achievement
Address all parts of the task and ensure that your response is complete. Provide answers that cover all aspects of the question, demonstrating an understanding of the topic and its complexities.
task achievement
Develop clear and comprehensive arguments throughout your essay. Your ideas should be detailed and explored in depth, rather than just mentioned in passing.
task achievement
Incorporate relevant and specific examples to support your arguments. Examples help illustrate your points and show a practical understanding of the topic.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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