children going to single-sex school have disadvantages in later life . In many countries children are being sent to co-education system and unisex schools by their parents that have various advantages and disadvantages.|

It is undeniable , that children going to single-sex
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
have disadvantages in later life . In many
countries
Add a comma
countries,
show examples
children are being sent to co-
education
system
Fix the agreement mistake
systems
show examples
and unisex schools by their parents that have various advantages and disadvantages.| To commence with, unisex schooling causes drawbacks in students’ future lives. As
due to
coeducation, both genders do
interect
Correct your spelling
interact
freely on
daily
Add an article
a daily
show examples
basis
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
improves their mutual understanding and patience for
one
an other
Correct your spelling
another
show examples
and
also
create
Correct subject-verb agreement
creates
show examples
friendly
Add an article
a friendly
show examples
environment in class.
Apart from
this
, learning with
opposite
Correct article usage
the opposite
show examples
sex promotes competition in studies.
Moreover
, in future, after
graduation
Add a comma
graduation,
show examples
they become highly skilled , bold and confident enough to do
job
Add an article
the job
show examples
competently in
presence
Correct article usage
the presence
show examples
of
opposite
Correct article usage
the opposite
show examples
sex.
Combine
Wrong verb form
Combining
show examples
study
Add an article
the study
show examples
of
girls
and
boys
let them have
strong
Add an article
a strong
show examples
friendship and romantic relationship. Children
ends
Change the verb form
end
show examples
their stereotypical gender
discriminated
Replace the word
discrimination
show examples
views after their exposure to
one
another.
One
of the most important
this
is that
co
Add a hyphen
co-education
show examples
education
not only ends sexism and inequality between
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
and
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
but
also
elevates the communication skills of both
girls
and
boys
.
In addition
to it, research showed that
girls
and
boys
are
comfortable
Correct quantifier usage
more comfortable
show examples
to share
Change the verb form
sharing
show examples
their grief
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
opposite
Correct article usage
the opposite
show examples
gender
then
Replace the word
than
show examples
the same
one
. So, it is
also
beneficial in
this
way. People who go against
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
co
Add a hyphen
co-education
show examples
education
usually argue that
co
Add a hyphen
co-education
show examples
education
tend
Change the verb form
tends
show examples
to cause
Add an article
the
show examples
attraction between both sexes that may disturb the educational temperament and momentum.
Additionally
, it may cause sexual harassment but these orthodoxical views are of no use in
this
advanced age.
Given
Verb problem
apply
show examples
, from my personal perspective I would say that co-
education
create
Correct subject-verb agreement
creates
show examples
more
Correct article usage
a more
show examples
competitive environment
then
Correct your spelling
than
show examples
unisex
education
and
also
it
prepare
Correct subject-verb agreement
prepares
show examples
girls
and
boys
to excel in life more confidently and
friendly
Correct your spelling
friendlyly
.
Submitted by safinarana22 on

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introduction conclusion present
Ensure that the introduction clearly presents the topic and outlines the main points that will be discussed in the essay. Your introduction was somewhat unclear and did not provide a solid framework for the essay.
supported main points
Develop your paragraphs with a clear topic sentence followed by supporting details and examples. Some paragraphs lacked a clear focus or detailed support.
complete response
Maintain focus on the task throughout the essay. Address the advantages and disadvantages equally and ensure you respond to the prompt effectively. It seemed like the essay was biased towards the advantages of co-education without sufficiently discussing the disadvantages.
logical structure
Organize your essay in such a way that ideas flow logically from one to the next. Use transitional phrases to connect paragraphs and maintain coherence.
relevant specific examples
Provide specific examples to support your points. While you included some examples, they were not always relevant or robust enough to support your argument effectively.
clear comprehensive ideas
Work on constructing well-developed ideas that are clear and comprehensive. Some of the ideas in the essay were incomplete or not fully explained.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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