IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

An increasing number of people are buying what they need online. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this development?

#people #development
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The cutting-edge technology in the
shooping
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shopping
 lifestyle
becomes
Wrong verb form
has become
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 popular for numerous
people
 around the world. The
upward's
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upward
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 tendency to afford stuff on
daily
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a daily
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 basis is online.
This
increase
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increasing
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 trend
trough
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through
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this
 online-based
shooping's
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shooping
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 lifestyle has brought both benefits and shortcomings
up
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apply
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during its development. First of all, as far as I can say, there are two imperative things that phenomenon
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
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posible
Correct your spelling
possible
 as the advantages to it.
Firstly
, buying what
people
 truly need through smartphone or computer
application
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applications
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 has cut the time-consuming off. The
people
 allocate their time to
a
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apply
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quality-time
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quality time
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spending
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spent
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 with loving family
instead
 of going out of
house
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the house
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.
Next,
the price
offering
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offered
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 online varies
as well as
 the level of
products
' quality.
This
 urges the
buyers
 to apply their multiple choices.
A
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The
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 freedom to opt
what
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for what
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 they need is plausibly foundation
to
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for
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 every consumer. The option which opens
Add an article
the opportunity
an opportunity
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opportunity
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opportunities
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 to
the
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apply
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shooping
Correct your spelling
shopping
 users will be economically adjusted.
Secondly
,
however
, the number of online
buyers
 going up
time
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from time
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 to time
also
 contributes to the negative impacts. One of
out
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our
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 many disadvantages is killing the conventional shops. The existence of the local stores is
thretened
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threatened
. When
the
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apply
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buyers
 prefer staying at home to open their smartphones to buy
products
, the conservative and settled stores will be extinct,
by
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apply
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which they directly affect
the
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apply
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economic matters in general.
Futhermore
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Furthermore
, the
secondly
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second
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 important shotcoming caused by that global issue is the local product which is unable to compete with affordable and massive stuff in the technological application which can
easly
Correct your spelling
easily
accesses
Wrong verb form
be accessed
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 by the
buyers
 themselves.
Hence
,
the
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apply
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consumers will prefer buying
the
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apply
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internet-based-
products
instead
 of
the
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apply
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local
products
. In summary, the incline number of
people
 buying something
via
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apply
show examples
online
cause
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causes
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 either
the
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apply
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good news or
the
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apply
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bad information to 
the
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apply
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 society.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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structure
Ensure that your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. The introduction should set the topic and outline what the essay will discuss. The conclusion should summarize your main points without introducing new information.
coherence
Work on the logical flow of your essay. Ideas should be presented in a coherent manner with clear transitions between them.
development
Support your main points with specific examples or evidence. This makes your argument more persuasive and your essay more detailed and informative.
task response
Be sure to fully address all parts of the task. This means discussing both advantages and disadvantages in balanced detail, and demonstrating a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
accuracy
Check your work for grammatical errors and spelling mistakes. Proper usage of grammar and vocabulary is key to conveying your message effectively.
variety
Avoid repetition of ideas or vocabulary. Instead, use synonyms and vary your sentence structure to keep the essay interesting and dynamic.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • instant gratification
  • rapid advancement
  • instant communication
  • online shopping
  • fast food delivery
  • social media platforms
  • immediate feedback
  • recognition and validation
  • efficiency
  • productivity
  • convenience
  • decreased patience
  • delayed gratification
  • realistic expectations
  • work ethic
  • unrealistic expectations
  • stress
  • dissatisfaction
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