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Writing Samples
Band 4

An increasing number of people are buying what they need online. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this development?

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The cutting-edge technology in the
shooping
Correct your spelling
shopping
 lifestyle
becomes
Wrong verb form
has become
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 popular for numerous
people
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 around the world. The
upward's
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upward
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 tendency to afford stuff on
daily
Correct article usage
a daily
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 basis is online.
This
Linking Words
increase
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increasing
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 trend
trough
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through
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this
Linking Words
 online-based
shooping's
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shooping
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 lifestyle has brought both benefits and shortcomings
up
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apply
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during its development. First of all, as far as I can say, there are two imperative things that phenomenon
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
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posible
Correct your spelling
possible
 as the advantages to it.
Firstly
Linking Words
, buying what
people
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 truly need through smartphone or computer
application
Fix the agreement mistake
applications
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 has cut the time-consuming off. The
people
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 allocate their time to
a
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apply
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quality-time
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quality time
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spending
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spent
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 with loving family
instead
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 of going out of
house
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the house
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.
Next,
Linking Words
the price
offering
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offered
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 online varies
as well as
Linking Words
 the level of
products
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' quality.
This
Linking Words
 urges the
buyers
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 to apply their multiple choices.
A
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The
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 freedom to opt
what
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for what
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 they need is plausibly foundation
to
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for
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 every consumer. The option which opens
Add an article
the opportunity
an opportunity
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opportunity
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opportunities
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 to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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shooping
Correct your spelling
shopping
 users will be economically adjusted.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
however
Linking Words
, the number of online
buyers
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 going up
time
Change preposition
from time
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 to time
also
Linking Words
 contributes to the negative impacts. One of
out
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our
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 many disadvantages is killing the conventional shops. The existence of the local stores is
thretened
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threatened
. When
the
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apply
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buyers
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 prefer staying at home to open their smartphones to buy
products
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, the conservative and settled stores will be extinct,
by
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apply
show examples
which they directly affect
the
Correct article usage
apply
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economic matters in general.
Futhermore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
, the
Linking Words
secondly
Change the word
second
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 important shotcoming caused by that global issue is the local product which is unable to compete with affordable and massive stuff in the technological application which can
easly
Correct your spelling
easily
accesses
Wrong verb form
be accessed
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 by the
buyers
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 themselves.
Hence
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,
the
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apply
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consumers will prefer buying
the
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apply
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internet-based-
products
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instead
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 of
the
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apply
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local
products
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. In summary, the incline number of
people
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 buying something
via
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apply
show examples
online
cause
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causes
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 either
the
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apply
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good news or
the
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apply
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bad information to 
the
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apply
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 society.

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structure
Ensure that your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. The introduction should set the topic and outline what the essay will discuss. The conclusion should summarize your main points without introducing new information.
coherence
Work on the logical flow of your essay. Ideas should be presented in a coherent manner with clear transitions between them.
development
Support your main points with specific examples or evidence. This makes your argument more persuasive and your essay more detailed and informative.
task response
Be sure to fully address all parts of the task. This means discussing both advantages and disadvantages in balanced detail, and demonstrating a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
accuracy
Check your work for grammatical errors and spelling mistakes. Proper usage of grammar and vocabulary is key to conveying your message effectively.
variety
Avoid repetition of ideas or vocabulary. Instead, use synonyms and vary your sentence structure to keep the essay interesting and dynamic.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • instant gratification
  • rapid advancement
  • instant communication
  • online shopping
  • fast food delivery
  • social media platforms
  • immediate feedback
  • recognition and validation
  • efficiency
  • productivity
  • convenience
  • decreased patience
  • delayed gratification
  • realistic expectations
  • work ethic
  • unrealistic expectations
  • stress
  • dissatisfaction
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