Do children should choose vocational learning or university?

#children #university

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Whether high school students should choose academic

study

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university

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or vocational schools has become controversial.

While

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children should opt to

study

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university

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to get well-paying jobs, I

also

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agree that vocational school is beneficial for them to pursue in several ways. On the one hand, academic learning at

university

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plays a significant role in growing up children and society. First and foremost,

this

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kind of

study

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is a great way for pupils to widen their knowledge by learning in-depth information about their careers with many reputation professors. All these theory and practice lessons can be a perfect treasure for them to apply for high-paying positions and ascend in their office.

Second,

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studying at

university

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is one of the best ways for students to be exposed to variety kinds of companies through many conferences or activities and obtain the chance to be offered quality jobs after graduating.

Last

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but not least, If you can finish your

study

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course with a good certificate, you can increase your ratio of passing interviews in the future. Obviously, the higher the quality you get, the better condition to compete with other candidates.

On the other hand

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, studying at vocational schools is

also

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a good choice for students who want to go straight to their jobs. The first merit of

this

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school is that you can get the ability to do your actual work in the future without spending time learning other subjects, especially some courses you don't like. By that, you can save your time and decrease your financial burden.

Furthermore

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, you can accomplish your studies early and earn money right away. That has a significant meaning for someone who does not have a good family circumstance. In conclusion, the benefits of tertiary

study

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and vocational training are apparent. The student should consider carefully before choosing one based on their passion and condition to find the suitable learning pathway.

Submitted by nguyen3722 on Wed Dec 13 2023

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coherence cohesion

To improve your coherence and cohesion, consider using a wider range of linking phrases that enhance the flow of ideas between sentences and paragraphs. Providing clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph and expanding on your examples would also help in cementing the cohesion of your essay.

task achievement

Your task response is good overall, with the prompt addressed and a balanced view presented. However, to further enhance your response, ensure you develop your ideas more fully and provide more detailed examples to support your arguments. While both sides of the argument are covered, more specific details would enrich your essay and demonstrate a deeper understanding of the subject matter.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

316 words

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Do children should choose vocational learning or university?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Space exploration costs taxpayers an exorbitant amount of money each year. What are the advantages and disadvantage of spending money on space exploration?

In many countries nowadays, consumers can go to a supermarket and buy food produced all over the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Some people believe that parenting children with the help of modern technology can have numerous benefits, while others argue that it may lead to potential problems. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.