IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

In today's society, professionals believe that it is necessary for
children
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 to learn a non-native
language
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 at primary
school
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. Studying a second
language
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 at primary
school
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 benefits
children
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’s cognitive skills
as well as
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 enhancing cultural understanding.
In contrast
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, some assume that it is better to start from secondary
school
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. I believe these advantages will exceed the disadvantages.
Children
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 are better at learning new languages at a young age. The main reason is that the brain usually develops rapidly at that time.
Moreover
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, it has
also
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 been proven that the young brain absorbs information at a faster rate.
For example
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, neural pathways are still developing which helps the brain's ability to adapt and change.
Furthermore
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, early exposure to another
language
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 can enhance cognitive improvement which results from understanding multiple languages.
In addition
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, studies show that bilingual
children
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 often perform better in problem-solving tasks and have improved memory and attention span.
On the other hand
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, some argue that starting too early may confuse
children
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 who are still mastering their native
language
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.
Additionally
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, primary
school
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 teachers may not be adequately trained to deliver high-quality
language
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 instruction.
However
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, these issues can be addressed through targeted teacher training and age-appropriate curricula that balance both languages.
To sum up
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, learning a foreign
language
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 at elementary
school
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 is the optimal time for a child. It has the potential to improve both cognitive and problem-solving skills.
However
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, parents must ensure that
children
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 have the appropriate environment to practice with others.
Therefore
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, I believe the advantages clearly outweigh the disadvantages.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure to use clear topic sentences for each paragraph.
task achievement
Add specific examples to strengthen your argument in the second body paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
Consider breaking up long sentences for better readability.
task achievement
You presented your ideas clearly and logically.
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are well written and connect well with the main points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • cognitive abilities
  • pronunciation
  • self-conscious
  • cultural awareness
  • global society
  • proficiency levels
  • competitive job market
  • foundational skills
  • qualified teachers
  • recreational activities
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