IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

The internet isolates us and encourages people not to socialise. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Widspread
Correct your spelling
Widespread
 use of
Use synonyms
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 has raised some concerns that it might make
people
Use synonyms
 disocialised. I totally disagree with
this
Linking Words
 statement because of the
availablity
Correct your spelling
availability
 of social
Use synonyms
medias
Correct your spelling
media
show examples
 and the possibility of having
comunication
Correct your spelling
communication
 via
Use synonyms
Add an article
the internet
show examples
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
 all around the world. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will discuss my viewpoint in
details
Fix the agreement mistake
detail
show examples
.
Initially
Linking Words
, social
Use synonyms
Fix the agreement mistake
media
show examples
medias
Fix the agreement mistake
media
show examples
 have tremendously helped
people
Use synonyms
 to be in touch with
eachothers
Correct your spelling
each other
 more than ever before.
By
Change preposition
With
show examples
 the help of some platforms like Instagram or Facebook, communications are not limited to specific hours of the day as
people
Use synonyms
 can talk to
eachothers
Correct your spelling
each other
 or share their matters online at any time they want. Imagine a world without the
internet
Use synonyms
,
for instance
Linking Words
, when
people
Use synonyms
 were so busy with their
evryday's
Correct your spelling
everyday
everyday's
 tasks, and they were obliged to see their family and friends just face-to-face, they would not get the chance of having any contact with them for numerous days. So, not only is
not
Rephrase
apply
show examples
the
internet
Use synonyms
 a
distructive
Correct your spelling
destructive
 phenomenon for socialisation, but it has actually provided many benefits in
this
Linking Words
 regard.
Secondly
Linking Words
, the advent of
Use synonyms
Add an article
the internet
show examples
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
 has made
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
world-wide
Correct your spelling
worldwide
show examples
 communication possible. Before the
Use synonyms
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
 and social
Use synonyms
medias
Correct your spelling
media
show examples
, our
conection
Correct your spelling
connection
 with other
people
Use synonyms
 was
limmited
Correct your spelling
limited
 only to those who lived around us;
however
Linking Words
, today, we can easily communicate with
people
Use synonyms
 from different nations through the
internet
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, there are scientists who work
togather
Correct your spelling
together
 from long distances by means of the
internet
Use synonyms
,
then
Linking Words
 they publish the results of their work on the
Use synonyms
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
,
consequently
Linking Words
, many others will be able to read their articles and even contact them whenever they want. In conclusion,
Use synonyms
Internet
Add an article
the Internet
show examples
 has widely helped
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
social interactions
by
Change preposition
through
show examples
 social
Use synonyms
medias
Correct your spelling
media
show examples
 and
providing
Wrong verb form
provided
show examples
 a global
conection
Correct your spelling
connection
 system for humans.
Linking Words
Although
Correct word choice
However
show examples
, we can expect some changes
Fix the infinitive
to happend
show examples
happend
Correct your spelling
happened
happen
 to the way of socialisation and communication as
Use synonyms
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
developes
Correct your spelling
develops
developers
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

structure
The overall logical structure requires significant attention. Your paragraphs should be more clearly focused, each encompassing a single main idea with sentences that logically connect to each other and the main topic. Transition words and phrases can guide the reader smoothly from one point to the next. Additionally, check that your conclusion reaffirms your main points and reflects the introduction, contributing to a sense of closure for the reader.
coherence
To improve coherence, ensure that your introduction sets a clear framework for the essay that is followed consistently throughout. Each subsequent paragraph should start with a topic sentence that clearly relates to the prompt and is supported by the following sentences. The conclusion should sum up your argument coherently, mirroring the introduction and the rest of the essay. Pay attention to paragraphing and the logical flow of ideas.
task response
You did address the task and developed ideas that are relevant to the prompt; however, the response would benefit from the clearer definition and support of these ideas. It would be advantageous to provide more concrete and varied examples that directly support your argument. Ensure that each paragraph focuses tightly on one main idea that is specific, relevant, and well-explained. This specificity will enhance the strength of your argument and the clarity of your ideas.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: