Some people argue that the purpose of zoos is only to entertain people. Do you agree or disagree?

Zoos

Use synonyms

are primarily used for entertaining individuals,

Linking Words

however

Add a comma

however,

show examples

there is an ongoing debate that

zoos

Use synonyms

are only used to entertain and there is no other significance. I strongly disagree with the statement, and the reasons are as follows.

To begin

Linking Words

with, there is no doubt that

zoos

Use synonyms

are to entertain people as they have numerous

species

Use synonyms

displayed for the visitors. People around the world come to see these rare birds and animals, their history and their lifestyle. Many

Change preposition

apply

show examples

different

zoos

Use synonyms

are equipped with different

species

Use synonyms

which are not found in other

zoos

Use synonyms

, which becomes the attraction point for the visitors to explore the

species

Use synonyms

they have never seen.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, apart from entertainment, they

also

Linking Words

provide immense information related to the

species

Use synonyms

and the diversity of wildlife.

Additionally

Linking Words

, they help to educate children and to provide vital information related to rare

species

Use synonyms

For example

Linking Words

, children only learn about these animals and birds in their books but these

zoos

Use synonyms

help to learn better about them. Watching them in real life makes a remarkable impression and a lifetime memory.

Moreover

Linking Words

, many environmental issues are arising which is the reason for habitat destruction.

Hence

Linking Words

zoos

Use synonyms

are participating actively in conservation efforts and protecting various

species

Use synonyms

. They are

also

Linking Words

helping to grow and breed the rare

species

Use synonyms

For instance

Linking Words

, a recent study shows that a few

zoos

Use synonyms

reported

Correct your spelling

show examples

increase of various

tiger

Fix the agreement mistake

tigers

show examples

and other rare

species

Use synonyms

in their

zoos

Use synonyms

In addition

Linking Words

to the

effort

Add a comma

effort,

show examples

India brought cheetahs from South Africa recently, which is a special

species

Use synonyms

that was not available in India earlier.

To conclude

Linking Words

, I would like to assert that, with all the above information

it is clear that

Linking Words

zoos

Use synonyms

are multipurpose

place

Fix the agreement mistake

places

show examples

to entertain, educate and

Fix the infinitive

apply

show examples

protect

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

various

species

Use synonyms

hiteshpaul

Dec 13, 2023

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that the essay follows a logical sequence, with clear paragraphing where each paragraph begins with a topic sentence that introduces the idea you will discuss in that section.

task achievement

The essay should have a clear position throughout the response. Be sure your opinion is consistent from introduction to conclusion.

coherence cohesion

Use a range of linking words to connect ideas and paragraphs in a way that guides the reader through the argument.

task achievement

Develop arguments with specific examples, facts, or data that support the points you are making.

coherence cohesion

Ensure the conclusion effectively summarizes the main points of the essay without introducing new information.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

293 words

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Some people argue that the purpose of zoos is only to entertain people. Do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other type of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

3rd - The only reason why people work is to earn money, there aren’t any other reasons for working. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In many countries, the number of people suffering from stress is increasing. What do you think are the causes of this problem and what measures could be taken to tackle it?

Some people believe that in a city, the best way to travel by cars while others consider bicycle more