Some people believe that it is the responsibility of individuals to take care of their own health and diet. Others however believe that the Government should make sure that their citizens have a healthy diet. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Taking care of
health
is essential to enjoy life to the fullest. Some
people
argue that individuals are accountable for their well-being,
while
others claim that it is the government’s responsibility to keep its citizens healthy. In
this
essay, both these assertions will be discussed. On the one hand,
people
believe that it is the responsibility of a person to take care of his well-being because of two main reasons.
Firstly
, as each person’s
health
is unique/
due to
variations in
health
, each person knows precisely what is beneficial to their
health
problem.
Therefore
, they are the ones who decide the food they consume. Another reason is that mental well-being is vital
that
Correct word choice
and
show examples
contributes to a person’s
health
and can be solely managed through the practice of minimizing obsession with the issue.
For example
,
according to
a study, it concluded that a person can overcome stress only when he is determined to stay happy.
On the other hand
, other individuals think that the government alone has the power to ensure the
health
of its citizens, and one way to achieve
this
is by taxing hazardous
products
.
This
initiative would not only make unhealthy goods expensive to consume but would
also
discourage manufacturers from producing them/ deter producers from making
products
.
Secondly
, the authorities can completely prohibit the production and selling of some items, which are hazardous to one's fitness/
pose
Correct word choice
or pose
show examples
a risk to
people
’s physical well-being.
For instance
, smoking is injurious to
health
, which is clearly mentioned on tobacco
products
, in spite of
such
warnings,
people
smoke cigarettes because it is easily available on shelves. The Government can ban
such
products
from selling in markets,
this
step will make sure that
people
are unable to buy those
products
and stay fit. In conclusion,
people
can maintain their own fitness by consciously selecting new nutritious and appropriate diets,
while
also
fostering emotional well-being by avoiding pressures.
However
, governments can implement measures aimed at promoting the
health
of their
habitants
Correct your spelling
habitats
show examples
, including levying taxes and imposing a ban on productions/prohibiting the main new manufacturing, and
sells
Correct your spelling
sales
show examples
of detrimental
products
.
Submitted by nhuquynh080105 on

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coherence cohesion
Make sure your essay follows a clear, logical structure. While your essay addresses the topic, the organization of ideas could be enhanced by using a more systematic approach.
coherence cohesion
Include both an introduction and a conclusion to frame your essay effectively. Articulate your own opinion clearly in the conclusion, capturing the essence of the argument.
coherence cohesion
Support your main points with well-developed explanations and specific examples. Aim to demonstrate depth in your reasoning and a range of relevant evidence.
task achievement
Ensure that your essay responds fully to all parts of the task. Present a balanced discussion of both views and provide a clear position in your conclusion.
task achievement
Ideas should be clear and comprehensively explored. Elaborate on your points to showcase a thorough understanding of the topic.
task achievement
Employ relevant and specific examples to illustrate your points. Avoid general statements where more concrete supporting details could strengthen your argument.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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