Bullying is a big problem in many schools. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
As
a
new Correct article usage
apply
student
, some pupils Fix the agreement mistake
students
aware
and Add a missing verb
are aware
curios
about whether they can be accepted very well by their friends or maybe they can be Correct your spelling
curious
an
isolated Correct article usage
apply
person
without any mates. Fix the agreement mistake
people
This
frightened brings up an issue of what we described as a
bullying. Remove the article
apply
Such
phenomenon
become a serious problem that needs to be prevented by all the elements. Correct article usage
a phenomenon
This
essay will explain a detailed reason why this
issue happened including recommendation
to tackle it.
Add an article
a recommendation
the recommendation
To begin
with, it is undeniable that bullying will still be the
scary story for most Correct article usage
a
students
if they are
enter a new Unnecessary verb
apply
school
after graduating. This
occurred because of
a perpetrator Change preposition
apply
feel
the same way- that they got Wrong verb form
felt
an
intimidation by their senior. To amplify Remove the article
apply
this
, students
comment a
negative Correct article usage
apply
word
Fix the agreement mistake
words
to
their Change preposition
on
colleague’s
social media to express their pathetic moments, so it can bring Change noun form
colleagues’
a
satisfaction.
Remove the article
apply
On the other hand
, this
problem can be tackled seamlessly if all the school
elements take a
part Correct article usage
apply
of
Change preposition
in
this
situation. Head school
as the highest position with the
powerful impact on the Correct article usage
a
school
regulation can consider to create
a bullying punishment applied for all Change the verb form
creating
students
. For instance
, the perpetrator need
to get a sanction, like points or get Change the verb form
needs
a dedication assignments
to take care of the Correct the article-noun agreement
dedication assignments
a dedication assignment
school
facilities. Eventually, this
policy will help to minimise the inclination of bullying at the school
. Furthermore
, consultation with teachers assist
them with various solution if they Change the verb form
assists
had
overcome Wrong verb form
have
the
personal issue.
In conclusion, Correct article usage
apply
this
essay depicts that bullying is one of the school
violations that can appears
because of mental pressure Change the verb form
appear
came
from the perpetrator, but it Verb problem
apply
also
can be measured with school’s
sanction to deter Correct article usage
the school’s
students
.Submitted by Salsabilakurnianingtyas on
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coherence cohesion
The essay has a logical structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, transitions between ideas could be improved for better flow. Additionally, some main points are not fully developed or supported with clear examples or explanations which affects the coherence of the essay.
task achievement
The task is addressed, though not all parts are covered equally and the solutions and causes are not entirely clear or fully developed. Include more specific examples and explanations to illustrate points. Ensure that the essay directly addresses all components of the task.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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