Bullying is a big problem in many schools. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Correct article usage

apply

show examples

new

student

Fix the agreement mistake

students

show examples

, some pupils

aware

Add a missing verb

are aware

show examples

and

curios

Correct your spelling

curious

show examples

about whether they can be accepted very well by their friends or maybe they can be

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

isolated

person

Fix the agreement mistake

people

show examples

without any mates.

This

Linking Words

frightened brings up an issue of what we described as

Remove the article

apply

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bullying.

Such

Linking Words

phenomenon

Correct article usage

a phenomenon

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become a serious problem that needs to be prevented by all the elements.

This

Linking Words

essay will explain a detailed reason why

this

Linking Words

issue happened including

recommendation

Add an article

a recommendation

the recommendation

show examples

to tackle it.

To begin

Linking Words

with, it is undeniable that bullying will still be

the

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scary story for most

students

Use synonyms

if they

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

enter a new

school

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after graduating.

This

Linking Words

occurred because

Change preposition

apply

show examples

a perpetrator

feel

Wrong verb form

felt

show examples

the same way- that they got

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apply

show examples

intimidation by their senior. To amplify

this

Linking Words

students

Use synonyms

comment

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

negative

word

Fix the agreement mistake

words

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

their

colleague’s

Change noun form

colleagues’

show examples

social media to express their pathetic moments, so it can bring

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apply

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satisfaction.

On the other hand

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

problem can be tackled seamlessly if all the

school

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elements take

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

part

Change preposition

show examples

this

Linking Words

situation. Head

school

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as the highest position with

the

Correct article usage

show examples

powerful impact on the

school

Use synonyms

regulation can consider

to create

Change the verb form

creating

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a bullying punishment applied for all

students

Use synonyms

For instance

Linking Words

, the perpetrator

need

Change the verb form

needs

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to get a sanction, like points or get

a dedication assignments

Correct the article-noun agreement

dedication assignments

a dedication assignment

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to take care of the

school

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facilities. Eventually,

this

Linking Words

policy will help to minimise the inclination of bullying at the

school

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Furthermore

Linking Words

, consultation with teachers

assist

Change the verb form

assists

show examples

them with various solution if they

had

Wrong verb form

have

show examples

overcome

the

Correct article usage

apply

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personal issue. In conclusion,

this

Linking Words

essay depicts that bullying is one of the

school

Use synonyms

violations that can

appears

Change the verb form

appear

show examples

because of mental pressure

came

Verb problem

apply

show examples

from the perpetrator, but it

also

Linking Words

can be measured with

Use synonyms

school’s

Correct article usage

the school’s

show examples

sanction to deter

students

Use synonyms

SalsabilakurnianingtyasWed Dec 13 2023

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coherence cohesion

The essay has a logical structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, transitions between ideas could be improved for better flow. Additionally, some main points are not fully developed or supported with clear examples or explanations which affects the coherence of the essay.

task achievement

The task is addressed, though not all parts are covered equally and the solutions and causes are not entirely clear or fully developed. Include more specific examples and explanations to illustrate points. Ensure that the essay directly addresses all components of the task.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
31
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

278 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Bullying
Harassment
Intimidation
Diversity
Adolescent
Mimic
Aggressive behavior
Cyberbullying
Peer pressure
Social acceptance
Awareness
Conflict resolution
Peer mediation
Consequences
Respect
Kindness
Open communication
Vulnerable
Buddy system

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Bullying is a big problem in many schools. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Fully explain your ideas

Many museums and historical sites are mainly visited by tourists and not local people. Why is this the case? What can be done to attract local people? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience.

In many countries people have to pay for medical care, but some think that it should be a free service provided by the government. To what extend Do you agree or disagree?

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this massage?

Many students choose to study at colleges and universities that are far away from the places where they grew up. Do the benefits of this outweigh the drawbacks?

Nowadays, some parents put a lot of pressure on children to succeed. What are the reasons for doing this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?