Some people say that school children should study history as a main subject. Others think that others subject are more important for children in modern society. Discuss the both views and give your opinion.
✍️ Want to check your own essay?Write on this topic → Introduction
In
todayChange noun form
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competitive world,many families find it necessary for both parents to go out of work .Abjure by the point of view .I
harmonizeVerb problem
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that there should be
requisiteCorrect article usage
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for families to earn a better livelihood.
Body paragraph 1
Some
saysCorrect subject-verb agreement
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that children in their families benefit from additional income . There is no doubt if both parents
are Unnecessary verb
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go out of work ,
MuchCorrect quantifier usage
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of the financial issues
areWrong verb form
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resolved.
Conclusion
With regard to
, We are living in a society where expenses are more than our actual income . Additional income helps
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The essay does not adequately cover the IELTS task as there is no clear discussion about the importance of history as a main subject versus other subjects for school children. Instead, the essay shifts focus to the necessity of both parents working.
The logical structure of the essay is poor; the introduction is not clear, and the main points are not well-developed or supported with relevant examples. Additionally, the essay does not include a conclusion.
To improve, ensure that the essay directly addresses the prompt by discussing both views on the importance of history as a main subject for school children. Develop each point with clear, specific examples and structure the essay with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
Enhance coherence by linking ideas clearly and using cohesive devices effectively. Make sure your essay follows a logical order and that each paragraph has a clear central idea that is expanded upon with evidence or examples.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.