it is common aspiration among many young people to run their business rather than work for an employer. Do you think the advantages of working for yourself outweigh the drawbacks ?

#aspiration #people #business #work #employer

this

competitive world, it is preferred by the majority of the new generation to run a business

instead

to work

Change the verb form

working

show examples

for a multinational

company

However

, I firmly believe that the benefits of entrepreneurship tend to develop the quality of our lives

while

minimizing the disadvantages that setting up a business could bring. There are two possible effects, which I will discuss and try to reach a conclusion. One of the main

positive

Change to a plural noun

positives

show examples

of establishing your enterprise is room to be creative and boosting your self-confidence through accomplishment.

For instance

, without

Wrong verb form

following

show examples

Wrong verb form

following

show examples

the orders of your boss in a

company

, you can not only reach your objectives by working for yourself but

also

Wrong verb form

get

show examples

getting

Wrong verb form

get

show examples

all the credit that you have made.

Secondly

, the pride of receiving your wage will be perceived differently from a salary as an employee in a

company

Although

a salary as a finance director in a big

company

is rewarding, receiving the benefits of your own decisions for your business brings a sense of achievement and

expanding

Wrong verb form

expands

show examples

your comfort

zones

Fix the agreement mistake

zone

show examples

for personal development.

Submitted by bouteloupcamille13 on Wed Dec 13 2023

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Introduction/Conclusion

Ensure that the essay includes both an introduction that clearly states your position and a conclusion that summarizes the main points and restates your viewpoint. The absence of a clear conclusion can significantly affect the perceived completeness of the essay.

Supporting Examples

Develop each argument with relevant examples or evidence. The paragraph on the pride of receiving your wage could benefit from specific examples or statistics to support the argument.

Cohesion

Aim for a more sophisticated organizational structure. Use transitional phrases and sentences to show clear relationships between ideas. This makes your essay more cohesive and improves the flow of information.

Task Response

Address potential drawbacks to working for yourself as the topic asks for a discussion of both advantages and disadvantages. Incorporate contrasting points into your argument to fully address the essay prompt.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

178 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

aspiration
entrepreneur
flexibility
decision-making
financial rewards
personal fulfillment
challenges
financial risk
invested capital
cash flow
guaranteed income
work-life balance
responsibility
pressure
burnout

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it is common aspiration among many young people to run their business rather than work for an employer. Do you think the advantages of working for yourself outweigh the drawbacks ?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Advances in science and technology and other areas of society in the last 100 years have transformed the way we live as well as postponing the day we die. There is no better time to be alive than now. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

The high sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising but not the real need of the society where such products are sold. Do you agree or disagree?

It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

Even though governments have worked hard to bring about improvements in the healthcare system, the overall standard of physical health in developed countries is decreasing. What are the potential reasons for this, and what are some of the long-term effects?

To learn effectively, children need to eat a healthy meal at school. How true is statement? Whose responsibility is it provide food for school children?