Nowadays a large amount of advertising aimed at children should be banned be¬cause of the negative effects. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#amount #children #be¬cause #effects

As society develops, several advertisements aimed at

children

show lots of negative information. Some people argue that it should be banned

cause

Correct word choice

because

show examples

it influences

children

to grow up. Of my point of view I strongly agree with it. And I will show some evidence to prove my view in

this

essay.

Firstly

, advertisement as a public media has important functions, it can lead direction to citizens, and no matter whether oppositive or negative will affect human interests.

For instance

, a lot of products need to inform customers eyes on the benefits through advertising, which directly focuses on income rather than other reasons. Meanwhile, they enlarge the product effect with sex on the TV or website to catch customers, which had bad influences on

children

and adults.

As a result

, the

behaviors

Change the spelling

behaviours

show examples

are unhealthy and invalid.

Secondly

due to

the unlimited conditions of the public, a great number of ads appear everywhere,

such

as on mobile phones and roads. we should keep a healthy environment culture for the education of

children

For example

, to give more view on friendly and helps thing, that will encourage

children

helps each other.

Hence

, giving more stages for more beautiful things to society can lead people correct way. In conclusion, I think we should limit the negative effects of ads, which need more focus and help without the government. Everyone has to manage the information around us, which always influences our lives in the moment.

Submitted by zhang342621374 on Wed Dec 13 2023

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coherence cohesion

Focus on providing a clear introduction, body paragraphs with main points followed by supporting details, and a coherent conclusion. Your essay lacks clear, cohesive transitions and logical sequencing of ideas. It's recommended to use linking words effectively to improve the flow of information.

task achievement

Address all parts of the task by ensuring your position is clear throughout the essay. Include relevant examples and explanations to support your main ideas. While you agreed with the statement, the supporting points were not entirely clear nor comprehensive. Work on expanding your explanations and using concrete examples to strengthen your argument.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

240 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

vulnerability
impressionability
developmental stage
critical thinking
marketing tactics
dietary choices
childhood obesity
materialism
consumerism
parental control
consumption
advertising literacy
interpret
outright ban
economic repercussions
media outlets
ad revenue

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Nowadays a large amount of advertising aimed at children should be banned be¬cause of the negative effects. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Word Count

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Banking and their role in our life. Methods of paying.

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant example for your own knowledge or experience

In recent years, there has been a rise in the use of performance-enhancing drugs in sports. What are the consequences of doping for athletes? What measures should be taken to combat this issue?

The rise of social media platforms has made it easier for people to vent their frustrations and complaints publicly. What is the consequence of this trend? Is there any benefit to expressing complaints on social media?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+