Universities should accept equal numbers og male and female student in every subject. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Nowadays, there are many problems
above all
gender problems. For instance
, universities should accept equal numbers of male and female students in every subject
but I disagree with the statements and I will give some points of view.
First of all, a university in order to educate peole
and prepare them for Correct your spelling
people
future
and Correct article usage
the future
these student
will lead the country in the future.
Tries to accept the same number of students from both genders in each Change the determiner
this student
these students
subject
, it
wouldn't be a good idea for the country. Rather they should focus on talent and there is no harm if more male and female recruitment can Correct pronoun usage
apply
Add a missing verb
be afmitted
afmitted
to Correct your spelling
admitted
fitted
the
Correct article usage
apply
educatioanal
Correct your spelling
educational
institution
based on talent.
Fix the agreement mistake
institutions
Implimenting
an equal number of male and female students in each Correct your spelling
Implementing
subject
would take away the freedom from
to study in Change preposition
apply
favourite
Add an article
the favourite
subject
.
On the other hand
, this
approach also
contradicts the principle of equality. In the university admissions process, candidates
Change noun form
candidates'
candidate's
interest
and abilities should be Fix the agreement mistake
interests
prirotized
Correct your spelling
prioritized
instead
of their gender.
In conclusion, to enter the university, it is necessary to pay attention not o
the number of women and men, but to their abilities.Change preposition
to
Submitted by ibrohimnasimov299 on
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coherence cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is weak; it requires a clear and coherent progression of ideas throughout. Consider using clear topic sentences to outline the main ideas in each paragraph and ensure that each paragraph flows logically from one to the next.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present but lack clarity and impact. The introduction should clearly state the topic and your position, while the conclusion should summarize the main points and restate your opinion.
coherence cohesion
The main points are not well supported with specific examples or evidence. Strengthen your essay by providing clear illustrations or factual evidence for your arguments.
task achievement
The essay does not fully address the task as it fails to develop a clear argument on whether universities should accept equal numbers of male and female students in every subject. There is room for improvement in providing a more developed and complete response to the question.
task achievement
Ideas are present, but they need to be articulated more clearly and comprehensively. Aim to express your thoughts more effectively, allowing the reader to understand your arguments with ease.
task achievement
The essay lacks relevant and specific examples to support the opinions stated. Make your arguments stronger and more convincing by citing concrete examples or statistics that relate to the topic.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.