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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The diagrams below show the life cycle of the silkworm and the stages in the production of silk cloth. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagrams below show the life cycle of the silkworm and the stages in the production of silk cloth. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The first
diagram
Use synonyms
 illustrates four steps of silkworm's life and the second
diagram
Use synonyms
 depicts stages of
silk
Use synonyms
 cloth manufacturing. At the very first
Use synonyms
stage
Add a comma
stage,
show examples
 a mature moth lays its eggs from which silkworm
larvae's
Change noun form
larvae
show examples
 hatch after
ten-day
Add an article
a ten-day
the ten-day
show examples
 period. During the second
Use synonyms
stage
Add a comma
stage,
show examples
 the only thing that these creatures do implies feeding on mulberry leaves and gaining strength. It takes leaves between 4 and 6 weeks before they start covering with
silk
Use synonyms
thread
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 process ends up approximately in 6-8 days when the larves completely hide in their cocoons from which adult moths appear in 15 days and the whole process renews. An interesting detail in
this
Linking Words
diagram
Use synonyms
 is that cocoons,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 are considered to be the fourth
stage
Use synonyms
 of
silkworm's
Correct article usage
the silkworm's
show examples
 life cycle, are used in
production
Add an article
the production
show examples
 of
silk
Use synonyms
 cloth which includes five phases.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the selected cocoon is put into the water where it is boiled for some time. At the following
stage
Use synonyms
,
steamed
Add an article
the steamed
a steamed
show examples
 cocoon is unwinded in order to obtain a
thread
Use synonyms
which
Correct pronoun usage
whose
show examples
 length varies from 300 metres to 900 metres. The next step can include both twisting a new
thread
Use synonyms
 or weaving it.
According to
Linking Words
 the
diagram
Use synonyms
,
this
Linking Words
 process is finished when twisted or
weaved
Wrong verb form
woven
show examples
 threads are dyed.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that both diagrams are
conected
Correct your spelling
connected
 with each other because the production of
silk
Use synonyms
 cloth becomes possible
as a consequence
Linking Words
 of larvas' activity of covering into
silk
Use synonyms
thread
Use synonyms
.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words diagram, silk, stage, thread with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "diagram" was used 5 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Silkworm (Bombyx mori)
  • Sericulture
  • Egg
  • Larva/larvae
  • Cocoon
  • Moth
  • Mulberry leaves
  • Pupa/pupae
  • Spinning
  • Weaving
  • Dyeing
  • Silk threads
  • Silk cloth
  • Life cycle
  • Metamorphosis
  • Harvesting
  • Domestication
  • Natural fibers
  • Textile industry
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