Some people think that zoos, which keep wild animals by man-made environment should no longer exist in 21st century. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Needless to say,
zoos
are well known for the diversity of animals
and have attracted individuals for many years. Zoos
are artificial habitats for wild creatures made by man for multiple purposes. However
, some people believe that zoos
should be banned in the future but I disagree with the statement and the reasons have been stipulated in the subsequent paragraphs.
First of all, the primary reason is that zoos
are sort of educational institute because it has various species
of animals
at
one place and is Change preposition
in
best
way for individuals to get knowledge about different Change the article
the best
animals
. Moreover
, zoo
has multiple programs Add an article
the zoo
such
as breeding programs to preserve an
endangered Correct article usage
apply
species
who
are eventually on Correct pronoun usage
that
a
brink of extinction Correct article usage
the
due to
deforestation and illegal hunting. For instance
, in India, Tigers are considered the
endangered Correct article usage
an
species
, but with the help of some conservation parks and zoos
they are saved and now multiplying.
Add a comma
zoos,
In addition
to this
, wildlife parks boost the economy as they are place
of tourism and encourage people to visit and spend money. The money earned from tourism can be used for the betterment of wild creatures and other purposes. Fix the agreement mistake
places
Along with
this
, medical care is provided at zoos
to the animals
which helps them to recover from various diseases which is not possible in forests that may result in extinction
of Add an article
the extinction
species
. Moreover
, if, zoos
continue to build, there would
be more requirements Wrong verb form
will
of
employees Change preposition
for
such
as guards, researchers and staff and it will create more job opportunities and provide employment.
To conclude
, it churns
out that Verb problem
turns
zoos
are beneficial for animals
as well as
society. So, it should increase in the future rather than limiting or banning it because limiting it will result in the extinction of some species
of wild animals
.Submitted by rahulvig34895 on
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task achievement
Ensure your introduction clearly states your stance on the topic and directly addresses the essay question. Although the introduction mentions disagreement with the given statement, it could be more explicit in stating your position and main arguments.
task achievement
Develop your main points by elaborating on the arguments presented and providing more detailed evidence and examples. For instance, further expand on how zoos contribute to breeding programs that save endangered species from extinction, including more specifics on how these programs operate.
coherence cohesion
Strengthen the logical structure by ensuring each paragraph introduces a clear main idea and follows with supporting sentences that are relevant to the topic. Avoid introducing unrelated points and make sure there is a logical flow to your argument.
coherence cohesion
Use cohesive devices effectively to link ideas throughout your essay. Transitions between sentences and paragraphs should be smooth and contribute to the overall coherence of your response.