Some people say that parents have the most important role in a child development. However, others argue that other things like Television or friends have the most significant influence. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

A much-debated issue these days is whether parents or other factors play a significant role in the
process
of a
child
growing up. Some people strongly believe that only family members can make the biggest contribution to the formation of personalities. Others claim that other things,
such
as TV shows or peers, have a greater impact on a
child
. For my part, I agree with both points of view, and consider that all these things are crucial to
child
development. There is no doubt that parents provide the basic knowledge about
this
world to a
child
, teach social and moral norms, and help them acquire different essential skills which are necessary for daily life. The studies have shown that the number of university alumni is higher among those students who have families.
Moreover
, people who were raised in orphanages are statistically more likely to commit crimes
due to
the lack of moral principles that parents are supposed to introduce to
the
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their
show examples
child
Fix the agreement mistake
children
show examples
.
Nevertheless
, it would be a mistake to discount the impact of modern
media
on a
child
and the
process
of their character formation.
According to
statistics, the number of users using the kid modes on different streaming platforms is increasing annually.
Therefore
, TV, social
media
, and networks have become an integral part of our society and culture. The information translated through
media
can crucially affect and shape the perceptions of an individual.
Additionally
, the role of friends in one’s surroundings should not be underestimated either. Commonly, children spend the largest proportion of their leisure time
together with
their peers.
Which
Correct pronoun usage
This
show examples
is why they not only learn specific things with them but
also
obtain
such
soft skills as communication, teamwork, and emotional empathy through interaction.
To sum up
my reasoning, personality formation is an ongoing
process
, but specifically in childhood,
this
process
is extremely vital. There is a variety of factors that can
impose
Verb problem
apply
show examples
influence
on
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apply
show examples
a
child
, including relatives, mass
media
, classmates, and friends.
Accordingly
, they all play a crucial role in the development of versatile and multifaceted personalities
as well as
foster healthy
child
development.
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coherence cohesion
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coherence cohesion
Use more varied transitional words and phrases to improve the flow of your essay.
task achievement
Expand on examples to provide a more comprehensive support for your points.
task achievement
Develop some ideas further to deepen the analysis and make your argument more compelling.
task achievement
The essay addresses both views and presents a balanced opinion, which is well-articulated in the introduction and conclusion.
task achievement
The main points are clearly supported by relevant examples and explanations.
coherence cohesion
The essay is logically structured with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
coherence cohesion
The connections between ideas are generally clear, contributing to a cohesive piece of writing.

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
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    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • primary educators
  • role models
  • emotional support
  • psychological development
  • expose to new ideas
  • broaden horizons
  • social skills
  • sense of belonging
  • identity formation
  • regulate content
  • mitigating potential negative impacts
  • important life skills
  • negotiation
  • empathy
  • conflict resolution
  • quality of the relationship
  • lasting impact
  • self-esteem
  • mental health
  • educational programs
  • supplement school education
  • additional learning opportunities
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