IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training) Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish.

#people #professionals #doctors #engineers #work #country
In
Recent
Fix capitalization
recent
show examples
 times, skill migration has become
highly
Add an article
a highly
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 controversial issue, as
number
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a number
the number
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 of
skill
Replace the word
skilled
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 emigrant increases. There are those who say that
doctors
 and engineers should
work
 in the
country
 where they trained,
while
 others believe that it should be free to choose
work place
Correct your spelling
workplace
show examples
. In
this
 essay, I will examine
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
both arguments and give my
overall
 opinion. Generally speaking,
profession
Add an article
a profession
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 like
doctor
Add an article
the doctor
a doctor
show examples
 is considered holy
work
 and &
serve for
Wrong verb form
serving
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 the
own
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
country
 is patriotism. Perhaps, there
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 the main reason is that we live in a
country
 where we need
doctors
 and engineers.
For instance
, Bangladesh
have
Add a missing verb
does have
show examples
 not sufficient
doctors
 but health is a basic need here. If
doctors
 are seeking to migrate
Change preposition
to other
show examples
other
Change the wording
another country
other countries
show examples
country
, Bangladeshi rural people will suffer more here as already we have below per doctor in hospitals. Another reason
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
they should
work
 for
own
Correct pronoun usage
their own
show examples
country
because
Add a missing verb
is because
show examples
government
Add an article
the government
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 has huge
investment
Fix the agreement mistake
investments
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those
Change preposition
in those
show examples
 two sectors.
Government
Add an article
The government
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 provides free education and hopes they serve their
country
 in future.
Doctor
Add an article
The doctor
A doctor
show examples
 is not only a profession but
also
asset
Correct article usage
an asset
show examples
of
Change preposition
to
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 a
country
.
On the other hand
, Some people believe
doctors
 and
engineer
Fix the agreement mistake
engineers
show examples
 should
free
Add a missing verb
be free
show examples
 to choose their
work place
Correct your spelling
workplace
show examples
 where they wish because everyone has
right
Correct article usage
the right
show examples
 to choose their own lifestyle, those people want to improve their lifestyle and personal skills by
immigrate
Wrong verb form
immigrating
show examples
Change preposition
to other
show examples
other
Change the wording
another country
other countries
show examples
country
.It helps them to improve their financial condition, followed by
children
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children's
show examples
 education and family financial condition.
Moreover
, some student
to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
are doing their training
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
other
Change the wording
another country
other countries
show examples
country
 as they
have
Add a missing verb
do have
show examples
 not proper facilities
specially
Replace the word
especially
show examples
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
engineering
Correct article usage
the engineering
show examples
sectors
Fix the agreement mistake
sector
show examples
. They want to go back
their
Change preposition
to their
show examples
 own
country
 and
works
Correct subject-verb agreement
work
show examples
 for
nation
Add an article
the nation
show examples
. As an example, Bangladeshi
engineer
Replace the word
engineering
show examples
 students
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 very limited facilities to get training
how
Change preposition
on how
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 to build a
hirage
Correct your spelling
heritage
 building. When a student study abroad, some of them are keen to
work
 for their own
country
 that's why they Should
free
Add a missing verb
be free
show examples
 to choose their
work station
Correct your spelling
workstation
show examples
 In conclusion,
Government
Correct article usage
the Government
show examples
 cannot force
any one
Correct your spelling
anyone
show examples
 to stay and
work
 for them
whereas
 they will more benefits from
other
Change the wording
another country
other countries
show examples
country
. In my opinion,
Doctors
 and
engineer
Fix the agreement mistake
engineers
show examples
 should be free to
work
 in
other
Change the wording
another country
other countries
show examples
country
 as they will improve their skills by doing
work
 with other communities and it gives them
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
strong financial support in most of the developed
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
show examples
.
However
, if
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 ensure a strong earning source and
assist
Correct subject-verb agreement
assists
show examples
 them by giving
Correct pronoun usage
them a
show examples
a
Correct article usage
an
show examples
improve
Change the verb form
improved
show examples
 lifestyle in
own
Correct pronoun usage
their own
show examples
country
,
then
 they would
be changed
Wrong verb form
change
show examples
 their decision to go abroad.
Submitted by marufahmed.sha75 on

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coherence cohesion
The essay presents both sides of the argument and reflects some level of coherence, yet the structure of the argument could be clearer. It is important to present each point systematically, ensuring a logical flow that makes it easy for the reader to follow the argument throughout the essay. Consider introducing each paragraph with a clear topic sentence that summarises the main idea of the paragraph, followed by support and examples.
task achievement
While the essay attempts to address the task, there are instances of unclear or incomplete ideas, which may confuse the reader. Ensure that each point made directly contributes to answering the question, with a sufficient depth of explanation and more relevant examples. Focus on developing each point fully before moving on to the next. The conclusion should encapsulate the writer's final opinion in a coherent manner, reflecting on the arguments made in the essay.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • professionals
  • doctors
  • engineers
  • required
  • training
  • home country
  • cultural
  • linguistic
  • advantages
  • economic impact
  • free
  • another country
  • globalization
  • international collaboration
  • improving
  • skills
  • knowledge
  • experience
  • opinion
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