Some people claim that not enough of the waste from homes is recycled.They say that the only way to increase recycling is for government to make it a legal requirement .

Nowadays,many
people
prefer to give
waste
up to ditch or they can
fall
.
However
Add a comma
However,
show examples
some
people
can recycle
waste
and they can save money.Personally,I believe,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
can
restriction
Replace the word
restrict
show examples
which
give
Verb problem
apply
show examples
waste
up ditch or
fall
. On the one hand,they
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
life with
usefull
Correct your spelling
useful
aspects.
Firstly
,if
people
don'
t
fall
or give
waste
up,they save money.
In addition
,
this
pattern
very
Add a missing verb
is very
show examples
useful to
environment
Add an article
the environment
an environment
show examples
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
if we don'
t
submerge
waste
, we save ground and vegetables,trees,grass and others.
Then
,if we don'
t
fall
,we save
ozone
Correct article usage
the ozone
show examples
layer and we save
own
Correct pronoun usage
our own
show examples
health.
For example
,I have upscale neighbourhoods,
although
they are rich,they prefer
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
recyclable
waste
and they save the environment.
On the other hand
,
although
they become poor or rich, they
prefer
Add the particle
prefer to
show examples
fall
or submerge
cause
Correct word choice
because
show examples
they don'
t
want to spend a lot of time so don'
t
prefer to recycle.Authority
need
Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
show examples
restriction to give
waste
up submerge or to
fall
and
this
pattern
vital
Add a missing verb
is vital
show examples
for each
countries
Change to a singular noun
country
show examples
.
In addition
,they take tox and
people
try to use from recycle and
this
pattern
bring
Change the verb form
brings
show examples
to preserve
inveronmend
Correct your spelling
environment
In a nutshell,
although
we spend time or money
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
recucle
Correct your spelling
resources
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
show examples
we prevent
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
of food,water and others.I try to
initiate
Verb problem
encourage
show examples
people
to recycle.
Submitted by mirzayevnurbek on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
It is essential to structure your essay in a clear and logical manner. Your essay lacked a coherent structure, making it difficult for the reader to follow your argument. Ensure each paragraph has a clear main point, and that the points are related to each other in a logical sequence.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are pivotal parts of an essay. Your essay should begin with a clear introduction that sets the context and states what you will discuss. It should end with a clear conclusion that summarizes your main points and restates your position. Your essay had elements of both, but they require significant improvement.
coherence cohesion
Support your main points with clear and relevant examples or explanations. Your essay includes some general examples, but they are not clearly explained or developed. By providing specific, relevant examples, you'll make your argument stronger.
task achievement
Your response must address all parts of the task. The essay should have a clear stance or argument that reflects the task prompt throughout. The response provided was incomplete and did not adequately address the task of discussing recycling and government intervention.
task achievement
Clarity and comprehensiveness are key to communicating your ideas effectively. Your writing should convey ideas in a way that is both comprehensible and detailed. The response had unclear ideas and lacked detail, reducing the effectiveness of the message.
task achievement
Relevant and specific examples are necessary to support your claims and add weight to your arguments. Your essay should include specific details and examples that are directly related to the key points you're making. The examples in the essay were not sufficiently relevant or specific, which weakened your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: