IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

"In many countries, paying for things using mobile phone (cellphone) apps is becoming increasingly common." Does this development have more advantages or more disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

#countries #phone #cellphone #apps #development
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Nowadays online payment is popular
in
Change preposition
apply
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all over the globe. After considering the benefits and drawback ,
as per
Change preposition
in
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 my opinion advantages of
this
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 scenario outweighs
disadvantages
Correct article usage
the disadvantages
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.
This
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 essay
discuss
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discusses
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 the reason behind my view.
Firstly
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, there are several benefits
by
Change preposition
to
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 using
the
Correct article usage
apply
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online media for different payment options. They are
one
Correct determiner usage
a
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click
Correct your spelling
one-click
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 solution for getting
any thing
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anything
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 and everything you want at your door step
with out
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without
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 stepping out.
For
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example
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example,
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 Google
pay
Capitalize word
Pay
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 or Paytm are more convenient
option
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options
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 to get food through Swiggy.
Moreover
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,
this
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 will be useful for booking movie tickets well in advance and
thus
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 not only reduces the rush in ticket
counter
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counters
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 but
also
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 reduces our stress .
Apart from
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this
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, one going for a long journey
not
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is not
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 required to carry much money , which is often believed as unsafe.
The pay
Wrong verb form
Paying
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 money through mobile gives much convenience.
For instance
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 , people visiting
museum
Correct article usage
a museum
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no
Verb problem
do not
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 need to to carry
the
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apply
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cash ,
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
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 can
done it
Wrong verb form
do
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 through
cell
Correct article usage
a cell
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 phone app.
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
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also
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 gives all
details
Correct article usage
the details
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 of
museum
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the museum
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.
Nevertheless
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, they are free from the limitations. They are limited in terms of safety. There are several scammers used to crack
people
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people's
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password
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passwords
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 which can end up in financial loss. But,
this
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 can be overcome with the help of precautions and carefulness
while
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 dealing dealing them. So, the advantages
overweigh
Verb problem
outweigh
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Correct article usage
the limitation
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limitation
Fix the agreement mistake
limitations
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. In Conclusion, after considering the aforementioned reason, in my
opinion
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opinion,
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 the advantage of using
Add an article
a smartphone
the smartphone
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smartphone
Fix the agreement mistake
smartphones
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 for any
payment related
Add a hyphen
payment-related
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 matter is beneficial.
Although
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 there are some
limitation
Fix the agreement mistake
limitations
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 which can
overcome
Add a missing verb
be overcome
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 by carefulness by using them.
Submitted by unnikrishnanpp153 on

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logical structure
Make sure your essay has a clear logical structure with distinct introduction, body, and conclusion paragraphs. Establish a clear argument and follow through consistently.
introduction conclusion present
Include both an introduction that sets the context and a conclusion that summarizes your points and restates your argument. Ensure they are both meaningful and bookend your essay appropriately.
supported main points
Support your ideas with specific examples and relevant details. General statements need factual reinforcement to be persuasive.
complete response
Address the entire prompt, ensuring that you explore both advantages and disadvantages equally if the question requires a comparative discussion.
clear comprehensive ideas
Your ideas need to be expressed more clearly and comprehensively. Use paragraphing to your advantage to explore each idea fully before moving on.
relevant specific examples
Use more relevant and specific examples to illustrate your points. Ensure the examples are accurate and directly support your argument.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • convenience
  • safety
  • security
  • time-saving
  • cashless transactions
  • dependence on technology
  • privacy concerns
  • accessibility issues
  • financial vulnerability
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