Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

People
have different views about many government's
opinion
Change to a plural noun
opinions
show examples
about the importance of
progress
in just economic way.
While
some argue that economic
development
is more important than other
progress
in
countries
, I believe that there are other different sections which should be improved with economics. On one hand, economic
development
is
progress
which makes a
country
grow and become important among other
countries
. These days, most of the developed
countries
are successful
as a
result
of their economic
progress
.
Moreover
, developing economic section
give
Correct subject-verb agreement
gives
show examples
the
country
a chance to more investment in their service industries or primary industries and
this
will
result
in raising cash flow in the
country
and more welfare for the
people
.
As a
result
, more investors become interested in investing in the
country
, preventing spending money in other foreign
countries
and growing the
country
's placement among developed
countries
.
On the other hand
, economic
development
is not as important as other sections in a
country
.
Firstly
, the rate of literacy among children is the most important thing that should be developed in the
country
. Young
people
are the future investors and employers of a
country
, and without improving their skills and education, even with improving the economic section, the
country
will face many problems in the future.
Secondly
, the rate of satisfaction of the local
people
is another important thing that governments have to care more about. When local
people
of a
country
or city are not satisfied with a
country
Change noun form
country's
show examples
services to
people
most of them tend to immigrate to another
country
which will
result
in exporting educated
people
and youngsters to developed
countries
.
Finally
, other sections of life improvement
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
needed for governments to improve their
country
among other
countries
. In conclusion,
although
economic
development
is important for any
country
, other improvements should not be forgotten other than economic.
Submitted by mohammadrahmani3647 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
To improve in task achievement, ensure that the essay fully addresses all parts of the task. Both views and your own opinion should be discussed, with a clear position throughout the response. Develop your main points further and establish a stronger connection between them and your overall argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, make sure that ideas flow logically from one to another and that cohesive devices are used effectively. Try to structure your essay with clear paragraphs each containing one main idea and appropriate supporting information. Each paragraph should have clear topic sentences and subsequent sentences should effectively illustrate or explain the main point.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • standard of living
  • sustainable development
  • social equality
  • environmental degradation
  • cultural heritage
  • technological innovation
  • wealth disparity
  • human development index
  • holistic approach
  • quality of life
  • economic prosperity
  • healthcare system
  • education system
  • cultural diversity
  • policy decisions
What to do next:
Look at other essays: