IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Nowadays, a lot of young people use social media. do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Nowadays, most of
youngest
Correct article usage
the youngest
show examples
 group of society use websites to communicate and learn something new. Some people
believes
Change the verb form
believe
show examples
 that it will cause problems, others
thinks
Change the verb form
think
show examples
 there is nothing
seriouse
Correct your spelling
serious
. So, let's compare
positive
Correct article usage
the positive
show examples
 and negative sides of
this
Linking Words
 statement. On the one hand, we have a positive influence on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
teenagers and children
such
Linking Words
 as
learn
Wrong verb form
learning
show examples
 new
usefull
Correct your spelling
useful
knowledges
Change the wording
knowledge
pieces of knowledge
bits of knowledge
show examples
 and
search
Wrong verb form
searching for
show examples
 new hobbies.
Main
Change the article
The main
show examples
arguement
Correct your spelling
argument
arguments
 in
this
Linking Words
argue
Replace the word
argument
show examples
 as
a big advantages
Correct the article-noun agreement
a big advantage
big advantages
show examples
 is
studing
Correct your spelling
studying
 new practical information that helps
new
Correct article usage
the new
show examples
generation
Use synonyms
 to understand information that they cannot study in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
schools.
For example
Linking Words
, some internet resources show the
resultes
Correct your spelling
results
 of a test where young people and
older
Correct article usage
the older
show examples
generation
Use synonyms
 answered
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the same questions about thing that was not connected with
schools
Change the noun form
school
show examples
 subjects. Surprisingly, teens won
theirs
Correct the word
their
show examples
 parents with
big
Add an article
a big
the big
show examples
 difference in the score.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
generation
Use synonyms
 usually has many interesting hobbies that
older
Correct article usage
the older
show examples
generation
Use synonyms
 cannot imagine.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, all things have disadvantages and
this
Linking Words
 theme is not an
exseption
Correct your spelling
exception
. Degradation and home-sitting lifestyle is
populare
Correct your spelling
popular
 reasons
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 social media
hates
Correct subject-verb agreement
hate
show examples
. On
this
Linking Words
 occasion, some television shows decided to collect
statisticks
Correct your spelling
statistics
between
Change preposition
on
show examples
young
Correct article usage
the young
show examples
 and old
Use synonyms
generation
Fix the agreement mistake
generations
show examples
 with good feelings about teens.
However
Linking Words
, they were shocked
:
Correct word choice
that, young
show examples
young
Correct article usage
the young
show examples
generation
Use synonyms
 prefers to stay at home more than
elder
Correct article usage
the elder
show examples
 people. Some social media haters
says
Change the verb form
say
show examples
 that it
caused
Add a missing verb
is caused
show examples
 by degradation, that was caused by lots of fake information groups. In
summaries
Fix the agreement mistake
summary
show examples
, the advantages
outweight
Correct your spelling
outweigh
 the
disaadvantages
Correct your spelling
disadvantages
.

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Introduction Advancement
Ensure that your introduction clearly outlines the main topic and presents a specific thesis statement that addresses whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages of social media use among young people. Your current introduction is quite vague and does not effectively set up the essay's structure.
Coherence & Cohesion Improvement
Use clear and logical transitions between ideas to ensure that the essay flows smoothly. Consider organizing your paragraphs more effectively, with clear topic sentences that outline the main idea, followed by supporting details and examples.
Supporting Points Enhancement
Support your main points with specific and relevant examples or evidence. While you have attempted to provide examples, they are not entirely clear or convincing. Ensure that your examples are directly related to the points you are making and flesh them out to fully demonstrate your argument.
Conclusion Enhancement
Make sure your conclusion summarizes your main points and reiterates your position on the topic coherently. Your current summary is too brief and does not effectively conclude your essay.
Task Response Enhancement
Enhance task completion by fully responding to all parts of the prompt. Although you have attempted to discuss both advantages and disadvantages, the response needs to be more balanced and detailed. Focus on the impact of social media in a more structured manner, directly relating each point back to the topic.
Language Accuracy
Check your essay for grammar, punctuation, and language use errors. Incorrect use of words and sentence structures can confuse the reader and obscure the meaning of your sentences, impacting your overall score.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Global connectivity
  • Knowledge sharing
  • Social engagement
  • Digital marketing
  • Networking opportunities
  • Cybersecurity
  • Online privacy
  • Digital literacy
  • Social awareness
  • Echo chamber effect
  • Information overload
  • Digital footprint
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