Nowadays, a lot of young people use social media. do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

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Nowadays, most of
youngest
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the youngest
show examples
group of society use websites to communicate and learn something new. Some people
believes
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believe
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that it will cause problems, others
thinks
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think
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there is nothing
seriouse
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serious
. So, let's compare
positive
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the positive
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and negative sides of
this
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statement. On the one hand, we have a positive influence on
the
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apply
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teenagers and children
such
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as
learn
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learning
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new
usefull
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useful
knowledges
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knowledge
pieces of knowledge
bits of knowledge
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and
search
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searching for
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new hobbies.
Main
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The main
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arguement
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argument
arguments
in
this
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argue
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argument
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as
a big advantages
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a big advantage
big advantages
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is
studing
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studying
new practical information that helps
new
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the new
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generation
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to understand information that they cannot study in
the
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apply
show examples
schools.
For example
Linking Words
, some internet resources show the
resultes
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results
of a test where young people and
older
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the older
show examples
generation
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answered
on
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apply
show examples
the same questions about thing that was not connected with
schools
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school
show examples
subjects. Surprisingly, teens won
theirs
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their
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parents with
big
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a big
the big
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difference in the score.
Moreover
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,
this
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generation
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usually has many interesting hobbies that
older
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the older
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generation
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cannot imagine.
On the other hand
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, all things have disadvantages and
this
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theme is not an
exseption
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exception
. Degradation and home-sitting lifestyle is
populare
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popular
reasons
of
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for
show examples
social media
hates
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hate
show examples
. On
this
Linking Words
occasion, some television shows decided to collect
statisticks
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statistics
between
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on
show examples
young
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the young
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and old
Use synonyms
generation
Fix the agreement mistake
generations
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with good feelings about teens.
However
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, they were shocked
:
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that, young
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young
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the young
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generation
Use synonyms
prefers to stay at home more than
elder
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the elder
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people. Some social media haters
says
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say
show examples
that it
caused
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is caused
show examples
by degradation, that was caused by lots of fake information groups. In
summaries
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summary
show examples
, the advantages
outweight
Correct your spelling
outweigh
the
disaadvantages
Correct your spelling
disadvantages
.
Submitted by gosuppg on

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Introduction Advancement
Ensure that your introduction clearly outlines the main topic and presents a specific thesis statement that addresses whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages of social media use among young people. Your current introduction is quite vague and does not effectively set up the essay's structure.
Coherence & Cohesion Improvement
Use clear and logical transitions between ideas to ensure that the essay flows smoothly. Consider organizing your paragraphs more effectively, with clear topic sentences that outline the main idea, followed by supporting details and examples.
Supporting Points Enhancement
Support your main points with specific and relevant examples or evidence. While you have attempted to provide examples, they are not entirely clear or convincing. Ensure that your examples are directly related to the points you are making and flesh them out to fully demonstrate your argument.
Conclusion Enhancement
Make sure your conclusion summarizes your main points and reiterates your position on the topic coherently. Your current summary is too brief and does not effectively conclude your essay.
Task Response Enhancement
Enhance task completion by fully responding to all parts of the prompt. Although you have attempted to discuss both advantages and disadvantages, the response needs to be more balanced and detailed. Focus on the impact of social media in a more structured manner, directly relating each point back to the topic.
Language Accuracy
Check your essay for grammar, punctuation, and language use errors. Incorrect use of words and sentence structures can confuse the reader and obscure the meaning of your sentences, impacting your overall score.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Global connectivity
  • Knowledge sharing
  • Social engagement
  • Digital marketing
  • Networking opportunities
  • Cybersecurity
  • Online privacy
  • Digital literacy
  • Social awareness
  • Echo chamber effect
  • Information overload
  • Digital footprint
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