Nowadays, a lot of young people use social media. do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #media

Nowadays, most of

youngest

Correct article usage

the youngest

show examples

group of society use websites to communicate and learn something new. Some people

believes

Change the verb form

believe

show examples

that it will cause problems, others

thinks

Change the verb form

think

show examples

there is nothing

seriouse

Correct your spelling

serious

. So, let's compare

positive

Correct article usage

the positive

show examples

and negative sides of

this

statement. On the one hand, we have a positive influence on

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

teenagers and children

such

learn

Wrong verb form

learning

show examples

new

usefull

Correct your spelling

useful

knowledges

Change the wording

knowledge

pieces of knowledge

bits of knowledge

show examples

and

Wrong verb form

searching for

show examples

new hobbies.

Main

Change the article

The main

show examples

arguement

Correct your spelling

argument

arguments

this

argue

Replace the word

argument

show examples

a big advantages

Correct the article-noun agreement

a big advantage

big advantages

show examples

studing

Correct your spelling

studying

new practical information that helps

new

Correct article usage

the new

show examples

generation

to understand information that they cannot study in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

schools.

For example

, some internet resources show the

resultes

Correct your spelling

results

of a test where young people and

older

Correct article usage

the older

show examples

generation

answered

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the same questions about thing that was not connected with

schools

Change the noun form

school

show examples

subjects. Surprisingly, teens won

theirs

Correct the word

their

show examples

parents with

big

Add an article

a big

the big

show examples

difference in the score.

Moreover

this

generation

usually has many interesting hobbies that

older

Correct article usage

the older

show examples

generation

cannot imagine.

On the other hand

, all things have disadvantages and

this

theme is not an

exseption

Correct your spelling

exception

. Degradation and home-sitting lifestyle is

populare

Correct your spelling

popular

reasons

Change preposition

for

show examples

social media

hates

Correct subject-verb agreement

hate

show examples

. On

this

occasion, some television shows decided to collect

statisticks

Correct your spelling

statistics

between

Change preposition

show examples

young

Correct article usage

the young

show examples

and old

generation

Fix the agreement mistake

generations

show examples

with good feelings about teens.

However

, they were shocked

Correct word choice

that, young

show examples

young

Correct article usage

the young

show examples

generation

prefers to stay at home more than

elder

Correct article usage

the elder

show examples

people. Some social media haters

says

Change the verb form

say

show examples

that it

caused

Add a missing verb

is caused

show examples

by degradation, that was caused by lots of fake information groups. In

summaries

Fix the agreement mistake

summary

show examples

, the advantages

outweight

Correct your spelling

outweigh

the

disaadvantages

Correct your spelling

disadvantages

Submitted by gosuppg on Wed Dec 13 2023

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Introduction Advancement

Ensure that your introduction clearly outlines the main topic and presents a specific thesis statement that addresses whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages of social media use among young people. Your current introduction is quite vague and does not effectively set up the essay's structure.

Coherence & Cohesion Improvement

Use clear and logical transitions between ideas to ensure that the essay flows smoothly. Consider organizing your paragraphs more effectively, with clear topic sentences that outline the main idea, followed by supporting details and examples.

Supporting Points Enhancement

Support your main points with specific and relevant examples or evidence. While you have attempted to provide examples, they are not entirely clear or convincing. Ensure that your examples are directly related to the points you are making and flesh them out to fully demonstrate your argument.

Conclusion Enhancement

Make sure your conclusion summarizes your main points and reiterates your position on the topic coherently. Your current summary is too brief and does not effectively conclude your essay.

Task Response Enhancement

Enhance task completion by fully responding to all parts of the prompt. Although you have attempted to discuss both advantages and disadvantages, the response needs to be more balanced and detailed. Focus on the impact of social media in a more structured manner, directly relating each point back to the topic.

Language Accuracy

Check your essay for grammar, punctuation, and language use errors. Incorrect use of words and sentence structures can confuse the reader and obscure the meaning of your sentences, impacting your overall score.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
40Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

233 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Global connectivity
Knowledge sharing
Social engagement
Digital marketing
Networking opportunities
Cybersecurity
Online privacy
Digital literacy
Social awareness
Echo chamber effect
Information overload
Digital footprint

What to do next:

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Nowadays, a lot of young people use social media. do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In many countries nowadays, consumers can go to a supermarket and buy food produced all over the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Some people think that it is good for a country’s culture to broadcast foreign films and TV shows. Others, however, think it is best to produce local films and shows. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In the past, people stored knowledge in books. Nowadays people stored knowledge on the Internet. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Many believe that modern technology has brought people together, but others say that it has driven us apart. Discuss both viewpoints and give your own opinion

You share your room with another student in the college hostel. You find it very difficult to study there because he or She always has parties and friends visiting. write a letter to the hostel warden complaining about your displeasure with the roommate.