Nowadays, a lot of young people use social media. do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Nowadays, most of
youngest
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the youngest
show examples
group of society use websites to communicate and learn something new. Some people
believes
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believe
show examples
that it will cause problems, others
thinks
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think
show examples
there is nothing
seriouse
Correct your spelling
serious
. So, let's compare
positive
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the positive
show examples
and negative sides of
this
statement. On the one hand, we have a positive influence on
the
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apply
show examples
teenagers and children
such
as
learn
Wrong verb form
learning
show examples
new
usefull
Correct your spelling
useful
knowledges
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knowledge
pieces of knowledge
bits of knowledge
show examples
and
search
Wrong verb form
searching for
show examples
new hobbies.
Main
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The main
show examples
arguement
Correct your spelling
argument
arguments
in
this
argue
Replace the word
argument
show examples
as
a big advantages
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a big advantage
big advantages
show examples
is
studing
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studying
new practical information that helps
new
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the new
show examples
generation
to understand information that they cannot study in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
schools.
For example
, some internet resources show the
resultes
Correct your spelling
results
of a test where young people and
older
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the older
show examples
generation
answered
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the same questions about thing that was not connected with
schools
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school
show examples
subjects. Surprisingly, teens won
theirs
Correct the word
their
show examples
parents with
big
Add an article
a big
the big
show examples
difference in the score.
Moreover
,
this
generation
usually has many interesting hobbies that
older
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the older
show examples
generation
cannot imagine.
On the other hand
, all things have disadvantages and
this
theme is not an
exseption
Correct your spelling
exception
. Degradation and home-sitting lifestyle is
populare
Correct your spelling
popular
reasons
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
social media
hates
Correct subject-verb agreement
hate
show examples
. On
this
occasion, some television shows decided to collect
statisticks
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statistics
between
Change preposition
on
show examples
young
Correct article usage
the young
show examples
and old
generation
Fix the agreement mistake
generations
show examples
with good feelings about teens.
However
, they were shocked
:
Correct word choice
that, young
show examples
young
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the young
show examples
generation
prefers to stay at home more than
elder
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the elder
show examples
people. Some social media haters
says
Change the verb form
say
show examples
that it
caused
Add a missing verb
is caused
show examples
by degradation, that was caused by lots of fake information groups. In
summaries
Fix the agreement mistake
summary
show examples
, the advantages
outweight
Correct your spelling
outweigh
the
disaadvantages
Correct your spelling
disadvantages
.
Submitted by gosuppg on

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Introduction Advancement
Ensure that your introduction clearly outlines the main topic and presents a specific thesis statement that addresses whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages of social media use among young people. Your current introduction is quite vague and does not effectively set up the essay's structure.
Coherence & Cohesion Improvement
Use clear and logical transitions between ideas to ensure that the essay flows smoothly. Consider organizing your paragraphs more effectively, with clear topic sentences that outline the main idea, followed by supporting details and examples.
Supporting Points Enhancement
Support your main points with specific and relevant examples or evidence. While you have attempted to provide examples, they are not entirely clear or convincing. Ensure that your examples are directly related to the points you are making and flesh them out to fully demonstrate your argument.
Conclusion Enhancement
Make sure your conclusion summarizes your main points and reiterates your position on the topic coherently. Your current summary is too brief and does not effectively conclude your essay.
Task Response Enhancement
Enhance task completion by fully responding to all parts of the prompt. Although you have attempted to discuss both advantages and disadvantages, the response needs to be more balanced and detailed. Focus on the impact of social media in a more structured manner, directly relating each point back to the topic.
Language Accuracy
Check your essay for grammar, punctuation, and language use errors. Incorrect use of words and sentence structures can confuse the reader and obscure the meaning of your sentences, impacting your overall score.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Global connectivity
  • Knowledge sharing
  • Social engagement
  • Digital marketing
  • Networking opportunities
  • Cybersecurity
  • Online privacy
  • Digital literacy
  • Social awareness
  • Echo chamber effect
  • Information overload
  • Digital footprint
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