IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people say that supermarkets and manufacturers have a responsibility to reduce the amount of packaging on products they sell. Others believe that it is the consumer’s responsibility to avoid buying products which have a lot of packaging. Discuss both views and give your opinions

#people #supermarkets #manufacturers #responsibility #amount #products #consumer’s
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Many blame that it is the supermarket's and manufacturer's
responsibility
Use synonyms
 to minimize unnecessary packaging on products. But
on the contrary
Linking Words
, some argue that it is in the buyer's hands to do so. I believe the consumer has the most
responsibility
Use synonyms
 towards reducing environmentally non-friendly packaging. Given the current fierce competition in the market,it is inevitable that suppliers tend to make their products eye-catching with many redundant wrappings in order to increase the chances of catching the eye of the customers among similar varieties of goods.
Hence
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 has become a norm nowadays which
consequently
Linking Words
 results in severe environmental damage.
Hence
Linking Words
 the manufacturers
also
Linking Words
 have an obligation towards
this
Linking Words
 concern and need to take immediate actions to break
such
Linking Words
 patterns.
For instance
Linking Words
, recently, major retail companies
such
Linking Words
 as Adidas, and Nike have moved to minimal and eco-friendly product manufacturing and distribution.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the customer has the upper hand towards eliminating said matter. Consumers can omit or reduce buying products with environmentally catastrophic wrapping by opting for non-wrapped or less wrapped goods.
This
Linking Words
 simple gesture can
make
Verb problem
increase
show examples
 awareness and inspire all relevant entities to minimize the use of unnecessary wraps. Citizens of countries
such
Linking Words
 as Sweden have been able to force the government to impose taxes on different environmentally catastrophic wrapping materials proving that the consumers have a higher
responsibility
Use synonyms
 towards minimizing the amount of packaging used. In conclusion, I believe it is our sole
responsibility
Use synonyms
 as individual customers to act whenever possible to make awareness and to force relevant entities to take
actions
Fix the agreement mistake
action
show examples
.
Submitted by hashkweerasekara on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
To enhance coherence and cohesion, ensure to use a broader range of linking words and phrases effectively. This will help in making the essay flow more smoothly.
task achievement
Work on elaborating and clarifying your points further. Make sure each paragraph develops a central idea and supports it with concrete evidence or examples.
coherence cohesion
This essay has a clear introduction and a conclusion, which are essential elements of a coherent structure.
task achievement
You provided a balanced discussion on both sides of the argument and supported your views with relevant examples like the references to Adidas and Nike, and the case of Sweden.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: