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Band 4

goverments should spend money on railways rather than roads to what extent do you agree or disagree with tihs statement?

#goverments #money #railways #roads #tihs
In current
time
Fix the agreement mistake
times
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, many various views about means of transportation can clearly be seen. One of these arguments is that states ought to invest in rail lines
instead
 of roads.
This
 idea has many supporters who have different rationales. I am one of them. In the following parts, I will try to explain my reasons why I totally agree
to
Change preposition
with
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this
 opinion.
To begin
 with, The world's change and technology maintain its innovation
as well as
 secure, beneficial and luxurious vehicles that have been established for years. Tracks and roads have similar features. The common view is that they are old and widely used options for comfortable journeys. To my mind, trains, and underground systems are more useful than buses and trucks
due to
 the large transit capacity. To
examplify
Correct your spelling
exemplify
,
Last
 year I joined
in
Change preposition
apply
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a course about trading and managers talked about how
unfomfortable useing
Correct your spelling
uncomfortable using
 tracks .
Subsequently
 , the rail line system seems to have shown
an
Change the article
a
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 conversation effect since it does not profit from fuel oil
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 or diesel oil. Many years ago trains utilised charcoals so as to cargo. Those days carbon had transformed into
air
Add an article
the air
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 much dirty. Nowadays electricity is a key provision for railways so it is not a problem for Sky anymore. On the condition that we analyze some lands which are metropolis and roads systems are common
Correct your spelling
using
useing
Add a comma
useing,
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 we noticed that
air
 pollution is one of the biggest issues because people who live those areas have many cars, buses and cranes .We can see it from South Korea.
Capital
Correct article usage
The capital
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 of that country has been building on the small property.
The
Correct article usage
apply
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Underground vehicles
is
Change the verb form
are
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 not common and traffic jam
create
Change the verb form
creates
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air
 problems,
as a result
, experts recommend that metros , trains,
trams
Correct word choice
and trams
show examples
 must dominate public transport. It is fresh
air
 and habitat will solve issues of
this
 life. In conclusion, It is a fact that governments must use their budget on rail lines for an efficacious cycle which includes humans and nature.
Submitted by ezgi.maide.213 on

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coherence cohesion
Pay close attention to the logical flow of ideas throughout the essay. Avoid jumping from one point to another without clear transitions or logical connectors. Ensuring each paragraph clearly addresses a single main idea can help improve cohesion.
coherence cohesion
Make sure that the introduction and conclusion are present and fulfill their purpose. The introduction should clearly introduce the topic and your stance, while the conclusion should summarize the main points without introducing new information.
coherence cohesion
Offer clear support for your main points with examples or explanations. Ensure that examples are directly relevant and clearly illustrated to strengthen your argument.
task achievement
Address the task prompt fully, ensuring you have explored the topic comprehensively and provided a clear argument throughout the essay. Avoid deviating from the prompt and ensure each point contributes to the overall position stated in the introduction.
task achievement
Present ideas clearly and in a well-organized fashion. Strive for comprehensive development of ideas with explanations provided for each point you make, thereby demonstrating a full understanding of the task at hand.
task achievement
Incorporate relevant examples to support your position, ensuring they are specific and clearly connected to the points being made. This will offer stronger support for your arguments and demonstrate an understanding of how to exemplify your ideas effectively.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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