Many believe that modern technology has brought people together, but others say that it has driven us apart. Discuss both viewpoints and give your own opinion.
There is a widespread belief that
,
up-to-date technologies have been creating a huge amount of ways to socialise with each other day by day. Many argue thatRemove the comma
apply
,
it can make stronger bonds between Remove the comma
apply
people
from all over the world. However
, it also
can lead to isolation and harmful cosequences
.
First and foremost, cutting-edge technologies cannot be underestimated. It gives chances to keep in touch with the dearest and nearest Correct your spelling
consequences
people
. There are many people
, which
have decided Fix the agreement mistake
who
moving
abroad to start a new life. There are up-to-date laptops with social media platforms Change the verb form
to move
such
as Instagram and Skype, which give possibillities
to interact and socialise with relatives and friends despite an insurmountable distance between them. Correct your spelling
possibilities
Moreover
, it can be usefull
in creating social communities Correct your spelling
useful
throug
the globe.
Correct your spelling
through
On the other hand
, many people
have been living their lifes
in an unnatural way. Correct your spelling
lives
In other words
, they can exist only in
the Internet and aforementioned platforms. Others become Change preposition
on
a
couch Correct article usage
apply
potato
Fix the agreement mistake
potatoes
due to
these advances. The consequences have become harmful or even dangerous. Their flesh and blood can live next door, but they only have meetings online. It leads to a feeling of isolation and loneliness. As a result
, many mental illnesses such
as depression or suicidal thoughts have been born.
In conclusion, undeniably, state-of-the-art technologies are helping to get stronger bonds between people
in different continets
. Correct your spelling
continents
Therefore
, it is the only way to be together for many of them. I utterly believe that, the amount of time, which people
spending
Wrong verb form
spend
in
their modern gadgets has to be balanced in order to avoid harmful effects.Change preposition
on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure paragraphs logically flow from one to the next, making your argument clear. Use a range of cohesive devices appropriately.
coherence cohesion
Work on a more structured approach to paragraphing and more varied sentence structures to clarify your points.
coherence cohesion
Develop your main points with specific examples and clearer explanations to enhance the coherence of your argument.
task achievement
Ensure that you address all parts of the task thoroughly, providing a balanced discussion and clear opinion.
task achievement
Include more detailed and specific examples to strengthen your argument and to thoroughly cover the task requirements.
task achievement
Revise your introduction and conclusion to ensure your opinion is clear and reiterated effectively, reflecting your discussion's key points.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?