The best way to teach children to cooperate is through team sports at school. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In
this
contemporary society, young individuals tend to
inludulge
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indulge
on
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in
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their smart devices
on
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for
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laisure
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leisure
time
rathar
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rather
then
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than
show examples
outdoor
sports
.
Although
, some believe teaching
chldren
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children
how to cooperate through
team
sports
is
best
Change the article
the best
show examples
way. I
stongly
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strongly
agree
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
this
perspective, largely
due to
the positive impact on mental development and physical
wellbeing
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well-being
show examples
. In
this
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
I will explore the optimistic outcome of
this
act.
Fristly
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Firstly
, children who play
sports
at their educational institute can exacerbate understanding with
other student
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another student
other students
show examples
. Game
such
as
soocer
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soccer
and
crecket
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cricket
or even most of the game demands a
team
perticipation
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participation
where individuals need to build
bound
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bonds
show examples
with other player for optimal outcome on the
feilds
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field
.
Moreover
, any kind of
miscomunication
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miscommunication
could detrimentally
effact
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effect
effects
affect
on the whole
team
. For
this
instences
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instance
instances
, if
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
prolong
thier
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their
friendship on
playground
Add an article
the playground
show examples
, they will
also
create a good
comunication
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communication
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
their classroom which will
also
construct a
batter
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better
show examples
attachment with the teachers as well . A good understanding skills is
Correct article usage
a cruticial
show examples
cruticial
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crucial
critical
step for learning cooperation.
On the other hand
, being engaged
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
game
Add an article
a game
the game
show examples
that
need
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needs
show examples
physical involvement not only
create
Correct subject-verb agreement
creates
show examples
batter
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better
show examples
understanding but
also
develop
Correct subject-verb agreement
develops
show examples
a leadership mentality. On the
feild
Correct your spelling
field
, athlete
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
responsible for their own action and their
endeavors
Change the spelling
endeavours
show examples
reflacts
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reflect
Correct article usage
the possibily
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possibily
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possibility
possibly
of
wining
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winning
show examples
for the whole
team
. In order to , a student become
use
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used
show examples
to
be
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being
show examples
aware
for
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of
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their step which
also
reflect
Change the verb form
reflects
show examples
on their future ventures . For
this
example,
that
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
awerness capibility
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awareness capability
that children make in their
schiools
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schools
,
playes
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plays
played
important
Correct article usage
an important
show examples
role
to evolve
Change preposition
in evolving
show examples
their maturity. Playing in front of
Correct article usage
an oppnent
show examples
oppnent
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opponent
opponents
and handling
Add an article
the situation
show examples
situation
Fix the agreement mistake
situations
show examples
with maturity
a
Add a missing verb
is a
show examples
good sign of
leadersip
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leadership
,
also
demonstrate
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
good collaboration knowledge. In conclusion,
team
sports
convay
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play
a vital role
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
children's development, and schools are remain only place where they can actively
involve
Wrong verb form
involved
show examples
with
Change preposition
in
show examples
these physical activity
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this physical activity
these physical activities
show examples
.
However
, In my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
show examples
I
compleately
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completely
agree that schools
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
the place where young people can learn cooperation through
team
sports
.
Submitted by nihalmohotasin16 on

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coherence cohesion
The essay structure is somewhat recognizable with an introduction and conclusion, but the paragraphs are not well-differentiated, and ideas sometimes seem to jump from one to another without clear logical transitions. Work on improving clarity and organization by using topic sentences and clear paragraphing to better showcase your ideas.
task achievement
While the response to the task is mostly complete, the development of ideas seems to be insufficiently elaborated and repetitive at times. The examples provided are not fully extended or deeply analyzed, resulting in underdeveloped arguments. Attempt to elaborate on the ideas with more specific examples and a deeper analysis in order to fully address the task requirements.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • cooperation
  • teamwork
  • communication
  • values
  • applied
  • aspects
  • belonging
  • camaraderie
  • participating
  • essential
  • social skills
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