IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Your sibling has sent you a letter asking for an update on your life. Write a letter to your sibling. In your letter: - Describe what you did for your last birthday - Ask for photos of your sibling’s last holiday - Talk about something you are looking forward to

#update #life #birthday #photos #sibling’s #holiday
Dear Amar,                  I am really excited to hear from you. Hope you are doing well.  I am doing extremely great in life.I am well settled in
job
Correct pronoun usage
my job
show examples
 now. I
have been
Wrong verb form
was
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 promoted
as
Change preposition
to
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 manager
couple
Correct article usage
a couple
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 of months ago. Thanks for sending me the
birthday
 card.
Firstly
, I would like to share about  my
birthday
, It was
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 exciting day, filled with fun and surprises. it started with the
Birthday
 Eve. My kids and wife arranged a
birthday
 surprise with a wonderful gift and cake. On the
birthday
 afternoon we all
been
Verb problem
went
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 to
restaurant
Add an article
the restaurant
a restaurant
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 for lunch.
Restaurant
Correct article usage
The restaurant
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 staff
has
Verb problem
gave
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 gifted a voucher on the occasion of my
birthday
. Later on in the
evening
Add a comma
evening,
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 we had a party with friends and
neighbour
Fix the agreement mistake
neighbours
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. It lasted till late
night
Change preposition
at night
show examples
. it finished
of
Replace the word
off
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 with dance and lots of fun. But on each occasion, I missed you a lot. I still remember how we used to celebrate our birthdays together.
Moreover
, I remember your
birthday
also
 comes in the
last
 week of the same month. I heard that you have been on
holiday
 on
you
Change the pronoun
your
show examples
birthday
. please share me the details of your
holiday
. which destination you have been
, how
Change preposition
to, how
show examples
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
you
Correct pronoun usage
your
show examples
 experience,
most
Correct word choice
and most
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 important the cost of the trip
.
Change the punctuation
?
show examples
 Please remember to share your
holiday
 video and photos.
It
Add the auxiliary verb
It has
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 been a year
we
Correct word choice
since we
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 all
meet
Wrong verb form
met
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. So,
Lets
Replace the word
Let's
let us
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 plan for a
holiday
 in the coming summer with our families. where we can give
our self
Correct your spelling
ourselves
show examples
 enough time. Hope to hear from you soon Best Regards Anand
Submitted by kishna.238 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph addresses a single distinct idea corresponding to the prompt to maintain clarity.
coherence cohesion
Use a wider range of cohesive devices and transition phrases to improve the flow of ideas between sentences and paragraphs.
task achievement
To score higher on task response, focus on fully developing your ideas, providing more detail, and elaborating on your experiences relating to the prompt questions.
task achievement
Maintain a conversational and engaging tone throughout the letter to reflect the interpersonal nature of writing to a sibling.
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