nobody will buy printed newspaper or books because they will be able to read everything they want online without paying. Do you agree or disagree?

#nobody #newspaper #books

No matter how

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society changes,

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

reading is still

indispensible

Correct your spelling

indispensable

for people.

While

some people have

habit

Add an article

a habit

the habit

show examples

of reading papers, I totally believe the mode of online reading will be more popular in the future. The are several disadvantages of printed

newspapers

or books.

Firstly

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

most raw materials of printed iterms come from wood. Yet, cutting trees excessively will cause a large number of

environment

Replace the word

environmental

show examples

problems.

Secondly

, the content in paper

iterms

Correct your spelling

items

terms

obvious

Change the word

obviously

show examples

narrow. Readers only receive

information

what

Correct word choice

that

show examples

authors or editors give, they don’t have

own

Correct pronoun usage

their own

show examples

pick of content.

Finally

, the newspaper distribution

need

Change the verb form

needs

show examples

express man

therefore

Correct word choice

and therefore

show examples

only occurs during some specific period.

Hence

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

newspapers

has

Change the verb form

have

show examples

higher usage cost and readers have to pay for

Correct pronoun usage

them

show examples

However

, the Internet provides a flexible approach to

access

Wrong verb form

accessing

show examples

information

. It relies on

a smart devices

Correct the article-noun agreement

smart devices

a smart device

show examples

with electricity,

thus

trees and other natural materials can be protected.

Furthermore

due to

the large amount of free online data, almost any

kinds

Fix the agreement mistake

kind

show examples

of statistics can

be find

Change the verb form

be found

show examples

with a powerful engine and without time and space

restriction

Fix the agreement mistake

restrictions

show examples

. It is more

efficiently

Change the word

efficient

show examples

for users and

also

enhance

Change the verb form

enhances

show examples

the influence of relevant media companies.

For example

, many

newspapers

and

magzines

Correct your spelling

magazines

tranfer

Correct your spelling

transfer

from

tranditional

Correct your spelling

traditional

mode to online mode to satisfy their users’ requirements. They convey news and

information

to the Internet because fewer people are willing to pay for

tha

Correct your spelling

the

offline

information

. In

conlusion

Correct your spelling

conclusion

withe

Correct your spelling

with

show examples

the development of modern technology, readers will gradually choose the Internet to obtain

information

than

Rephrase

rather than

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

tranditional

Correct your spelling

traditional

newspapers

or books.

Submitted by passielts9091 on Thu Dec 14 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

Ensure a clear introduction, body, and conclusion structure. The idea of environmental impact is mentioned, but could be expanded upon for better clarity and flow within the essay.

task achievement

Develop main points with more detailed examples and explanations. The point about companies shifting to an online mode could have included more specific examples to strengthen the argument.

coherence cohesion

Work on grammar and vocabulary accuracy to enhance the essay's clarity. There were a few grammatical errors spotted which could lower the overall coherence.

task achievement

Reiterate your position in the conclusion more strongly and clearly relate it back to the main points discussed in the essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
31Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

251 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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nobody will buy printed newspaper or books because they will be able to read everything they want online without paying. Do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some groups, such as poor people or people from rural area find it is difficult to access the university education. Universities should make it especially easy for the students come from the rural areas get an access to the university. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

some people take up the temporary jobs so that they have more time to do the other things. Does the advantage outweigh the disadvantages?

Large business have big budgets for marketing and promotic and as a result people garvitate towards buying their products. What problems does this cause? What could be done to encourage people to buy local products?

Some experts believe that is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?