With growing population in cities, more and more people live in a home with small or no outdoor areas. Is it a positive or negative development?
Many
people
are moving to urban places for various reasons which is impacting our standard of living. Confined houses
with small or no outdoor spaces are built to accommodate the increasing population. I strongly believe that this
development
has a negative impact on one's life.
The first reason is that with an increasing number of urban dwellers, cities are getting crowded and expensive. A lot of people
can only afford small houses
which lack in proper outdoor setting. These confined houses
, as a result
, harm the residents' lives in numerous ways. One of which is their social life. With busy schedules and work pressure, one would want to invite friends or family to their residence for small gatherings or celebrations during their leisure time. However
, due to
confined spaces with no or less open-air areas, they avoid such
house gatherings, which results in feeling lonely. Thus
, the compact houses
built due to
overcrowding in cities have an adverse effect on human societal beings.
Another reason is that it affects people
's mental and physical health
. A lot of urban houses
may not have any balconies as well as
good ventilation due to
centralised air conditioning. This
restricts the natural air and cross ventilation in the accommodation, as a result
affecting human physical health
by causing respirational diseases. On the other hand
, there is no space
for residents to feel relaxed or release their stress and anxiety away from closed walls, consequently
, affecting their mental health
. Children, for example
, will not be able to access outdoor play in their free time as there is no proper space
unless adults take them to a garden or playground which is not possible every day. Urban development
with no or less outdoor space
, therefore
, adversely affects human health
.
To conclude
, in my opinion, the development
of houses
with no or less outdoor space
in cities to accommodate the increasing population is a negative development
. It not only affects people
's social life
but Fix the agreement mistake
lives
also
has a major impact on their physical and mental health
Submitted by agarwal.bhavi07 on
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Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. While your essay contains all three, the conclusion could be further developed to better mirror the introduction and encapsulate the key points made.
Coherence & Cohesion
Develop paragraphs fully by expanding on ideas with more detailed examples and explanations. Each main point mentioned should be supported by specific examples or further justification.
Task Achievement
To fully respond to the task, make sure to address all parts of the question in your essay. While you have provided a clear opinion, your response would be strengthened by providing a balanced view with arguments for both sides or by explicitly stating any potential benefits to the development before concluding with your own stance.
Coherence & Cohesion
Incorporate a wider range of linking words and phrases to better connect ideas and contribute to the overall cohesion of the text. While some linking words are used, variety and complexity can be increased.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
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