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With growing population in cities, more and more people live in a home with small or no outdoor areas. Is it a positive or negative development?

#population #cities #people #home #areas #development
Many
people
 are moving to urban places for various reasons which is impacting our standard of living. Confined
houses
 with small or no outdoor spaces are built to accommodate the increasing population. I strongly believe that
this
development
 has a negative impact on one's life. The first reason is that with an increasing number of urban dwellers, cities are getting crowded and expensive. A lot of
people
 can only afford small
houses
 which lack in proper outdoor setting. These confined
houses
,
as a result
, harm the residents' lives in numerous ways. One of which is their social life. With busy schedules and work pressure, one would want to invite friends or family to their residence for small gatherings or celebrations during their leisure time.
However
,
due to
 confined spaces with no or less open-air areas, they avoid
such
 house gatherings, which results in feeling lonely.
Thus
, the compact
houses
 built
due to
 overcrowding in cities have an adverse effect on human societal beings. Another reason is that it affects
people
's mental and physical
health
. A lot of urban
houses
 may not have any balconies
as well as
 good ventilation
due to
 centralised air conditioning.
This
 restricts the natural air and cross ventilation in the accommodation,
as a result
 affecting human physical
health
 by causing respirational diseases.
On the other hand
, there is no
space
 for residents to feel relaxed or release their stress and anxiety away from closed walls,
consequently
, affecting their mental
health
. Children,
for example
, will not be able to access outdoor play in their free time as there is no proper
space
 unless adults take them to a garden or playground which is not possible every day. Urban
development
 with no or less outdoor
space
,
therefore
, adversely affects human
health
.
To conclude
, in my opinion, the
development
 of
houses
 with no or less outdoor
space
 in cities to accommodate the increasing population is a negative
development
. It not only affects
people
's social
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
 but
also
 has a major impact on their physical and mental
health
Submitted by agarwal.bhavi07 on

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Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. While your essay contains all three, the conclusion could be further developed to better mirror the introduction and encapsulate the key points made.
Coherence & Cohesion
Develop paragraphs fully by expanding on ideas with more detailed examples and explanations. Each main point mentioned should be supported by specific examples or further justification.
Task Achievement
To fully respond to the task, make sure to address all parts of the question in your essay. While you have provided a clear opinion, your response would be strengthened by providing a balanced view with arguments for both sides or by explicitly stating any potential benefits to the development before concluding with your own stance.
Coherence & Cohesion
Incorporate a wider range of linking words and phrases to better connect ideas and contribute to the overall cohesion of the text. While some linking words are used, variety and complexity can be increased.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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