It is important for young people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. To some extent, do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give your opinion?

To be honest, young

people

today lack experience, lack knowledge and are often hesitant in their decisions, which is why they tend to be more adventurous than adults. First of all, today's young

people

often feel like they have time to recover from setbacks. They often view time as a resource they can use to face challenges. With fewer family commitments and responsibilities, young

people

often feel they have more flexibility and freedom to experiment and take risks in life.

Besides

, young

people

often have the ability to quickly adapt to changes and overcome situations flexibly.

This

helps them believe that they can face any difficulties that risk may bring. Another reason for

this

is that when young, many

people

focus on gaining experience and challenges rather than security and stability. They may view risk as an important part of life and personal growth.

Finally

, the spirit of adventure and the desire to explore and experience new things are often very strong in young

people

This

can lead to a willingness to proactively take risks.

Submitted by tienganhcamtu266 on Thu Dec 14 2023

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Coherence & Cohesion

You should ensure that your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion to guide the reader through your argument effectively. The current structure is somewhat unclear.

Coherence & Cohesion

Present your main points with supporting details and examples. The essay provides general statements but lacks concrete examples to illustrate the argument.

Task Achievement

Make sure to directly answer the essay question and provide a clear opinion. The current response only partially addresses the prompt.

Task Achievement

To achieve a higher band score, develop your ideas fully and provide more specific examples relevant to the topic given.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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3Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

2 paragraphs

174 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Opportunities
Growth
Innovation
Challenges
Self-discovery
Resilience
Uncertainty
Consequences
Calculated risks
Stagnation
Regret
Comfort zone
Entrepreneurship
Adventurous spirit
Thriving
Failure
Mitigate
Reap the rewards

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It is important for young people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. To some extent, do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give your opinion?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

The consumption of the world’s resources is increasing at a dangerous rate. What are the causes and solutions?

Some people feel that the private lives of celebrities should not be openly shared by the media. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In many counties people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an ageing population creates problems for governments other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. To what extent do the advantages of having an ageing population outweigh the disagvantages?

Many students find it difficult to focus or pay attention at school nowadays. What are the reasons for this? What can be done to solve this problem?

It is more important for school children to learn about their local history than the world history. Do you agree or disagree?