Some people believe that the care of elderly people should be a priority of government spending. Others believe that government spending should focus more on young people, especially on their education. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
People have different views about whether
government
spending should be allocated to elder care or the young generation, particularly in their education. In my view, both previous and next generations deserve to receive fair investment from the state.
On the one hand, it can be argued that the government
should spend money on the care of senior citizens
. It would be no exaggeration to say that the elderly play a pivotal role in laying the foundation for a country’s development. Undergoing important historical periods of the country as well as
life transitions, they possess an immense ocean of experience, knowledge, and wisdom which serves as a guidepost for the younger generation and society. Until now, there are a noticeable number of over 70-year-old citizens
who have been constantly working and devoting their efforts to serve their countries. Therefore
, they are worth receiving great attention and honor
from society. In fact, in many countries, the Change the spelling
honour
government
has implemented preferential policies for the elderly, most notably, receiving priority to check-ups in advance at medical institutions or participating in public transport without paying for tickets.
On the other hand
, some people assume that government
spending categories should focus on the youth. Young people are considered the seeds of a nation’s fruitful future as they symbolize exceptional intellect and youthful vigor
. Change the spelling
vigour
In other words
, junior citizens
are always willing to adapt to new environments, as well as
absorb and cultivate knowledge in all aspects. As a result
, it is crucial for the government
to nurture these seeds comprehensively, especially in their academic learning, with the aim of creating more opportunities for them to access the essence across the globe, thereby accelerating the international integration process. A prime illustration of this
point is that in Vietnam, state budget resources have focused on prioritizing investment in universal education, particularly in difficult areas and ethnic minorities.
In conclusion, it is evident that both the old and young generations have made certain contributions to the long-term and sustainable development of any nation. Governments should enact additional practical policies to support all its citizens
regardless of age.Submitted by anhnt61294 on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure consistency in logical development throughout the essay. Though the main points are clear, some paragraphs may benefit from clearer topic sentences to directly address the prompt.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present and generally well-formulated. Yet, the concluding paragraph could better synthesize both views and your stance for a stronger final impression.
coherence cohesion
Support your main points with more specific examples and evidence. While the essay includes examples, more precise and varied illustrations could enhance your argument's effectiveness.
task achievement
The response addresses the task partly; however, it tends to generalize rather than examining both views with equal depth. Ensure to provide a balanced discussion and integrate your own opinion more clearly throughout.
task achievement
Expand on your ideas with more depth and clarity, providing comprehensive rationales. While good attempts are made, some elaborations seem superficial.
task achievement
Employ specific examples to support the discussion. The examples provided are relatively broad. Using more detailed cases would strengthen the argument and display a better grasp of the topic.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite