This diagram below shows the manufacturring process for making suger from suger cane.

This diagram below shows the manufacturring process for making suger from suger cane.
The rendered chart illustrates the manufacturing process for making
sugar
from
sugar
cane.
Overall
, it is clearly seen that there are seven main steps to
make
Wrong verb form
making
show examples
sugar
with the help of
sugar
cane.
Also
, the second step is done with the help of machines and
manual
Fix the agreement mistake
manuals
show examples
.
According to
the given diagram, at
first,
sugar
canes are planted and they take 12 to 18 months to grow. Afterwards, the harvesting of
sugar
canes
Fix the agreement mistake
cane
show examples
were started by two methods
such
as with tools and by hand.
Moreover
, the
sugar
cane is crushed with a crushing machine for
juice
. In the fourth step, once the material has been crushed, the
juice
is purified with the limestone filter. Moving
further
, filtered
juice
is kept on the heat in a container for an evaporator and the
juice
becomes syrup.
Apart from
this
, the centrifuge helps to separate
sugar
crystals from syrup.
Lastly
,
sugar
is kept in the large drum for drying and cooling.
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words sugar, juice with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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