Some species of animals are almost extinct; and many others seem to be fast approaching a similar risk. What are the reasons for this? What should be done to solve this problem? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience

#species #animals #risk

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In modern decades, numerous types of distinct wild

animals

Use synonyms

are facing elimination completely,

whereas

Linking Words

their counterparts and other species are on the verge

dying

Change preposition

of dying

show examples

out. There are two major issues that lead to

this

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trend which are destruction of their natural

habitats

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and illegal poaching. To put an end to

this

Linking Words

situation, government intervention and enhancing the residents' consciousness are the possible solutions. First and foremost, it is undisputed that wild

animals

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play a crucial role in biodiversity and balanced ecosystems.

Hence

Linking Words

, the negative modification in their

habitats

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can seriously affect their survival.

However

Linking Words

, wild

habitats

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are severely devastated and the main reason is

humankind

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humankind's

show examples

activities. As a case in point, some individual groups influenced the wild environment

through

Change preposition

show examples

burning forests, cutting down trees to expand

agriculture

Replace the word

agricultural

show examples

land and

erect

Wrong verb form

erecting

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modern buildings. That apparently gives rise to their

habitats

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being deprived

as well as

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their accommodation being narrowed.

Thus

Linking Words

, the awareness advancement of inhabitants about the core value of wild

animals

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is incredibly significant.

Secondly

Linking Words

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

wild

animals

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can be considered as

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

lucrative prey for some individuals who are self-interested. From these animal species, they can achieve horns, nails or feathers which can be utilized to manufacture high-value products and bring about huge fortunes for not only merchants

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

but

also

Linking Words

illegal hunters. To illustrate

this

Linking Words

point, in the beauty

industry

Add a comma

industry,

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there are several branches that

applied

Wrong verb form

apply

show examples

crocodile leather

Change preposition

show examples

a key ingredient for purses or shoes which severely

influenced

Wrong verb form

influences

show examples

the

quantity

Change the quantifier

number

show examples

of crocodile species. To resolve

this

Linking Words

problem, the government and

authority

Fix the agreement mistake

authorities

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should set up rigorous regulations and punishments

involved

Verb problem

apply

show examples

to preserve wildlife and prevent deforestation without permission.

To sum up

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, my own view on

this

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matter is that regardless of poachers or degraded forests, we can reverse

this

Linking Words

situation by strict regulation from

authority

Fix the agreement mistake

authorities

show examples

and educating residents about wild

animals

Use synonyms

Submitted by thuhuyen16992qn on Thu Dec 14 2023

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coherence cohesion

You have made a reasonable effort in structuring the essay with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. To improve, make sure each paragraph flows logically into the next. Utilize a wider range of cohesive devices to ensure a more seamless progression of ideas throughout the essay.

task achievement

Your response addresses the task well. To improve on task achievement, ensure that you respond to all parts of the task in sufficient detail. Expand on the given examples to create a more in-depth explanation and demonstrate a broader range of knowledge and experience.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

302 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

species extinction
endangered animals
biodiversity
habitat loss
deforestation
urbanization
poaching
illegal wildlife trade
climate change
pollution
conservation efforts
legislation
enforcement
human overpopulation
sustainable development
responsible consumption
education
awareness programs
protected areas
wildlife reserves
international cooperation
collaboration

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Some species of animals are almost extinct; and many others seem to be fast approaching a similar risk. What are the reasons for this? What should be done to solve this problem? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

being slim is associated with fashion. do you think it is a positive or negative trend?

In some places old age is valued, while in ohter cultures yoouth is considered more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

You have a complaint about the hotel you stayed at while attending a meeting that was booked by the organiser of a company meeting. Write a letter to the organiser of the meeting and include Details about the meeting The problem you face What should be done

It is sometimes said that countries should produce all the food for their populations to eat and import as little as possible. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.