Some species of animals are almost extinct; and many others seem to be fast approaching a similar risk. What are the reasons for this? What should be done to solve this problem? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience

#species #animals #risk

In modern decades, numerous types of distinct wild

animals

are facing elimination completely,

whereas

their counterparts and other species are on the verge

dying

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of dying

show examples

out. There are two major issues that lead to

this

trend which are destruction of their natural

habitats

and illegal poaching. To put an end to

this

situation, government intervention and enhancing the residents' consciousness are the possible solutions. First and foremost, it is undisputed that wild

animals

play a crucial role in biodiversity and balanced ecosystems.

Hence

, the negative modification in their

habitats

can seriously affect their survival.

However

, wild

habitats

are severely devastated and the main reason is

humankind

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humankind's

show examples

activities. As a case in point, some individual groups influenced the wild environment

through

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show examples

burning forests, cutting down trees to expand

agriculture

Replace the word

agricultural

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land and

erect

Wrong verb form

erecting

show examples

modern buildings. That apparently gives rise to their

habitats

being deprived

as well as

their accommodation being narrowed.

Thus

, the awareness advancement of inhabitants about the core value of wild

animals

is incredibly significant.

Secondly

the

Correct article usage

apply

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wild

animals

can be considered as

Correct article usage

apply

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lucrative prey for some individuals who are self-interested. From these animal species, they can achieve horns, nails or feathers which can be utilized to manufacture high-value products and bring about huge fortunes for not only merchants

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apply

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but

also

illegal hunters. To illustrate

this

point, in the beauty

industry

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industry,

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there are several branches that

applied

Wrong verb form

apply

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crocodile leather

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a key ingredient for purses or shoes which severely

influenced

Wrong verb form

influences

show examples

the

quantity

Change the quantifier

number

show examples

of crocodile species. To resolve

this

problem, the government and

authority

Fix the agreement mistake

authorities

show examples

should set up rigorous regulations and punishments

involved

Verb problem

apply

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to preserve wildlife and prevent deforestation without permission.

To sum up

, my own view on

this

matter is that regardless of poachers or degraded forests, we can reverse

this

situation by strict regulation from

authority

Fix the agreement mistake

authorities

show examples

and educating residents about wild

animals

Submitted by thuhuyen16992qn on Thu Dec 14 2023

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coherence cohesion

You have made a reasonable effort in structuring the essay with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. To improve, make sure each paragraph flows logically into the next. Utilize a wider range of cohesive devices to ensure a more seamless progression of ideas throughout the essay.

task achievement

Your response addresses the task well. To improve on task achievement, ensure that you respond to all parts of the task in sufficient detail. Expand on the given examples to create a more in-depth explanation and demonstrate a broader range of knowledge and experience.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

302 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

species extinction
endangered animals
biodiversity
habitat loss
deforestation
urbanization
poaching
illegal wildlife trade
climate change
pollution
conservation efforts
legislation
enforcement
human overpopulation
sustainable development
responsible consumption
education
awareness programs
protected areas
wildlife reserves
international cooperation
collaboration

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Some species of animals are almost extinct; and many others seem to be fast approaching a similar risk. What are the reasons for this? What should be done to solve this problem? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

The first man to walk on the moon claimed it was a step forward for mankind. However, it has made little difference in most people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Young children have a special talent for language learning. Children should be taught other languages at an early age. Although learning for children is not easy, they need a new method to understand the subject. They can use a new method from a book, such as a picture book.

Some people say that advertisinzg is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people say that the education system is the only critical factor to development of a country. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?