Topic: Some people argue that technological advancements have made our lives easier, while others believe that they have led to increased stress and isolation. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In today's rapidly evolving world, technological

advancements

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have revolutionized the way we live, work, and interact with one another.

While

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some argue that these

advancements

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have significantly improved our lives by making tasks more efficient and accessible, others contend that they have contributed to heightened stress levels and increased social isolation. On one hand, the extraordinary progress in

technology

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has undeniably simplified many aspects of our daily routines. Tasks that once required significant time and effort can now be completed with the touch of a button.

For example

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, communication has become more convenient and immediate with the advent of smartphones and social media platforms. People can now connect with friends and family around the globe instantaneously, fostering relationships that might

otherwise

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have been difficult to maintain.

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, the robust infrastructure of online platforms has made information readily available, empowering individuals to access knowledge on a vast array of subjects with just a few clicks.

On the other hand

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, the relentless pace of technological advancement has

also

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brought about its own set of challenges. The constant influx of information and the pressure to stay connected can lead to feelings of overwhelm and anxiety, particularly among younger generations.

Moreover

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, as more interactions occur through screens rather than face-to-face, there is concern that genuine human connection is being sacrificed in

favor

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favour

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of superficial online interactions.

This

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shift towards virtual communication can contribute to feelings of isolation and loneliness, as individuals may lack the deep, meaningful connections that come from in-person interaction. In my opinion,

while

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technological

advancements

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have undoubtedly improved certain aspects of our lives, they have

also

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introduced new challenges that must be addressed. It is vital for society to find a balance between harnessing the benefits of

technology

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and mitigating its negative effects.

This

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requires deliberate efforts to promote healthy

technology

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usage and prioritize genuine human connection in an increasingly digital world. In conclusion, technological

advancements

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have brought about both positive and negative consequences for society.

While

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they have undoubtedly made tasks more efficient and accessible, they have

also

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contributed to increased stress and social isolation. Moving forward, it is essential for individuals and society as a whole to navigate the complexities of

technology

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with care, ensuring that we harness its benefits

while

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mitigating its drawbacks.

Alma Islam

May 5, 2024

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Example Depth

Integrate more diverse examples and case studies to support your points more vividly. While your examples are relevant, expanding on them with more specific cases could strengthen your argument.

Argument Depth

Consider exploring the implications of technological advancements further, such as their impact on specific groups (e.g., the elderly, children) or sectors (e.g., education, healthcare), to enrich your discussion.

Balance in Discussion

Maintain balance in discussing both views by allocating similar length and depth to each perspective before stating your opinion. This ensures that the essay remains unbiased and comprehensive.

Structural Coherence

Your essay presents a well-structured argument, with a clear introduction, development of ideas, and a conclusion that mirrors the complexity of the issue.

Balanced Perspective

You successfully navigate the topic by recognizing both the positive aspects and drawbacks of technological advancements, culminating in a reasoned personal opinion.

Clarity and Engagement

Using accessible language and clear examples, you effectively communicate complex ideas, making your essay readable and engaging.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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7
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

375 words

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Topic: Some people argue that technological advancements have made our lives easier, while others believe that they have led to increased stress and isolation. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Small business are disappearing and being replaced by large multinational companies. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

The best way to reduce poverty in developing countries is by providing at least six years of free education for each child, so that all children can read, write and use numbers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, some people are changing their way of look through hair colour, cosmetics and even plastic surgery. What are the reasons? Is it a good thing?

Some people think we can use animals in the medical experiment for the benefits of humans, while others think this is a cruel thing, thus needing to be prohibited. Discuss both views and give your opinion.