IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Small businesses are being replaced by large multinational companies. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

In many places establishment of many commercial
companies
Use synonyms
results
Use synonyms
 in vanishing the most of small
businesses
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 plays a vital role in increasing the economy of the local communities but
also
Linking Words
, EnRoute to the loss in source of income for many local
people
Use synonyms
 who
depends
Correct subject-verb agreement
depend
show examples
 on small
businesses
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 and leads to migration to other places.
Although
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 the displacement of local
people
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being
Wrong verb form
is
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 a result
with
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the
development
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 of large corporate
companies
Use synonyms
,
this
Linking Words
 essay argues that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. On one hand, the
development
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 of multinational
companies
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 has a positive impact on the local economy. Job opportunities for many
people
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 will increase with the establishment of large
companies
Use synonyms
 which
results
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 in the increase in the wealth of surrounding cities.
Due to
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 the infrastructure
also
Linking Words
 improves. One of
city
Add an article
the city
a city
show examples
 in Andhra Pradesh has experienced
this
Linking Words
 type of
development
Use synonyms
Linking Words
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 is Nellore. A large multinational company which is called KIA
motors
Capitalize word
Motors
show examples
 has established in that city in the year of 2015.
Due to
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 employment in that area increased gradually and turned out to
one
Add a missing verb
be one
show examples
 of the wealthiest cities in the state of Andhra Pradesh. On
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 hand,
Due to
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
development
Use synonyms
 of commercial
companies
Use synonyms
 many of the local
entrepreneur's
Change noun form
entrepreneurs
show examples
loss
Replace the word
lost
show examples
 their source of income. With
these establishment
Change the determiner
this establishment
these establishments
show examples
 of corporate
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companies
Add a comma
companies,
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 many small
businesses
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 will
sweepout
Correct your spelling
sweep out
sleepout
 which are located
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 that area
from
Change preposition
for
show examples
 so many years and
people
Use synonyms
 who
depends
Change the verb form
depend
show examples
 on those
businesses
Use synonyms
 as a source of income will thrive
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
this
Linking Words
Use synonyms
results
Wrong verb form
will result
show examples
 in the movement of
people
Use synonyms
 to a better place where they can survive with those
businesses
Use synonyms
. The
development
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 of a company called Aditya Hatcheries in the city of Vizag near to the sea
results
Use synonyms
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the migration of many
fishers mans
Correct your spelling
fishermen
show examples
 to other places. In conclusion, the
brought up
Verb problem
rise
show examples
 of many large
companies
Use synonyms
replaces
Wrong verb form
replaced
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
small
businesses
Use synonyms
.
Linking Words
Although
Correct word choice
However
show examples
, it has
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
positive and
as well as
Linking Words
 negative effects on the
people
Use synonyms
 who are living in
that
Correct determiner usage
those
show examples
 local communities. The positive impacts dominate the limitations in an effective manner.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each body paragraph should have a clear central topic.
coherence cohesion
Use a range of linking words to connect ideas and paragraphs but avoid overuse or incorrect usage that may make the essay unclear.
coherence cohesion
Develop main points with specific details and examples. Each main point should be expanded to show a clear analysis or argument.
task achievement
Fully address the prompt by discussing both sides of the argument before reaching a conclusion that restates your position.
task achievement
Present ideas clearly and develop them thoroughly to show a complete understanding of the topic.
task achievement
Use specific examples to support your points. Refer directly to the prompt, and ensure examples are relevant and detailed.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Displacement
  • Economies of scale
  • Local economies
  • Standardization
  • Cultural homogenization
  • Personalized service
  • Innovation
  • Community investments
  • Environmental impact
  • Competitive prices
  • Tax contributions
  • Job losses
  • Cultural diversity
  • Local employment opportunities
What to do next:
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